犯贱+numb+lonely~ [ Thursday, 2nd July 2009 ]

eyes swollen for yesterday morning and oso today morning...
aaahahahahhaa...
din reli sleep well on these days...
bzy "having flu" > <

lonely~~~
i am so lonely~~
i had nobody~~
for my own~~~
ohhhh~~~

they always tell me dat even dun hav lover,
u still hav frens...
formerly, i tink like dat...
but not for now anymore...
loneliness still exist even im surrounded by them...
still felt isolated...

formerly, i still hav my darling...
but not anymore...
im always so proud wit myself bcoz i hav tis caring and loving fren,
who reli luv and care me a lot....
she is always being my pride,
dat i can tell loudly in front of ppl dat "single is fine for me"...
but den,
i went and destroyed da happiness wit my own hands...
lol...
tis is reli da silliest thing dat i had done in my life...
my name no longer appear...
my shadow no longer be remember...
da luv...no longer exist too...
"sesal dahula pendapatan, sesal kemudian tiada gunanya"

recently like to sing...
sing smth which is "meaningful" for me lol...
is actually singing songs which "suits" me -___-||

numb...
kena NS...
my normal respond will be "WTH???!! #)$*)*(@#&$#*(@$ ^#$&*(@#)*(#$&@"
and will be keep scolding -___-||
bcoz im homesick...
never wan to go...
but now??
no more feelings...
"oh?kena NS ar...den kena lor..."
mayb Gohonzon wan me to go there to relax my mind...
might move on without computer and mobile phone...
haven go already hav a strong feeling dat i will be very yam gong...
curry for whole 3 months??
if not den chilli ??? -___-||
i oso dun eat spicy foods de -___-||
one of da gud news for Jing...
dat Chilli Queen... > <
still glad dat b4 im "disappear for 3 months,
there r still a person who misses me adi though i haven go yet -__-||
den last nite my papa so cute -___-|||
he tot dat im afraid of ghost and all,
den kept telling me "aiyaa dun nid to scare one lar... u got Gohonzon wat..blah blah blah blah (and alot alot) "
den i said " -___-|| i oso never say dat i dun wan go is bcoz i afraid of ghost -___-|| "
den he "ar??yea ar O__O den ok lor~~"
and den he went to his room and sleep..
must be drunk until sot liao > <

too much things to tell dat im lazy to tell everything ...
guess dat ppl already bored wit my storeys,
is juz da same "category" ... > <
save energy...
dun type den XD
moreover dun tink there will be others who read tis except for my 2 "great fans " XD

i can sense dat...
tomoro morning i will hav swollen eyes again LOL
reli tired...
tired dat i hav to cried myself to sleep for every nite...
wondering when will da tears hav meaning...
is better to cry over someone,
than crying for nth -___-||