Sunday, May 31, 2009

你的笑容深深的刻在我心里。。。 你的影子不停的在我脑海里出现。。。| u drive me insane.... [ Saturday, 30th May 2009 ]

今天去锐家帮他弄电脑。。。
和锐谈了一整天,

他和吕又有事了。。。

看他那失落的样子。。。

哎~~何苦呢?

在他房间时,
不知道受了什么刺激,

我竟把那些“回忆”统统给删除掉了,

不想再从读,

免得又舍不得,

看也不看,

标记了就直接删掉,

反正已经完了。。。
那些不是回忆的回忆,
没有必要在收藏起来。。。
既然你都已经不再需要我了,
我也无法伤害到你了,

终于,可以放手了。。。
你也终于学会不再依赖我了。。。

迟迟不放手,

不是因为舍不得,

而是不想在你伤口上撒盐,

不想在你最失落的时候伤害你。。。

不想做出一些残忍的事。。。
你要说我假情假意,
说我假装对你好,
我也没办法。。。
虽然已经不爱了, 
不过还当你是我的好友。。。
怎样说,你以前也对我这个朋友也不错,

比普通朋友还要关心我。。。

其实讲到尾,

还是一个字啦,

就是我“笨”咯。。。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~~
好人做到底,
送佛送到西,

我还是给了你再多一些时间,
让你考虑和搞清楚自己要些什么,
好让你可以确认自己是否可以不再依赖我这个好友。。。

在这时有很多首歌适合形容这个情景咧,
爱不疚 和 到带 
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~~





怎么办?
越来越爱?
没有啦 -___-||

你以为飞轮海咩?

可是...

我。。。
越陷越深了...

见了面后...

不知道自己发什么神经,
对他的感觉
深厚了...
我不想又再次“无法自拔” ...

不过很像已经差不多 无法自拔 了...

尤其是昨天过后。。。

够力。。。 -____-||

哎~~
真是搞不懂我自己在想些什么。。。
他明明就不是我的理想对象,
也没关系,

不符合我想要的条件,

还全部反差 O_______O

这时。。。
我才意识到,
什么是真正的“喜欢”。。。

原来真的是盲目的。。。

如果你问我,

你有什么地方这样吸引我,

我真的答不出来。。。
因为连我自己也在揣摩着。。。
而且刚刚你也问了
哈哈哈哈哈哈 > <

一整天只有刚睡醒时我是开心的,

就真如晶说的。。。
我很 兴奋+开心。。。

不过。。。

其实。。。

我知道。。。

事实并不是像我想像中的那样开心。。。
我也 feel 到,
我已经吓到他了-___-||
哎~~
反正他也不是第一个被我吓走的。。。
被我吓走的也不只是他。。。

我知道如果我不找你,

你也不会来找我的 -___-||

哎~~

还是这三个字,
 “算了吧” 。。。
不管我多努力。。。

结局都是一样的。。。

我们是不可能的。。。
因为你还没盲,
就算盲了也绝对不会这样没有眼光选我
的。。。
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~


我的一生,

除了自作多情,

就是一相情愿。。。

今天心情本来应该是很好的~~

但。。。
当我 “清醒” 时。。。

就是另一回事了。。。

从来没有想过自己会这样喜欢你。。。
这样在乎。。。

甚至会 “酸” 这样久。。。
还真是第一次。。。

那样的话,

我爸就说得一点也没错咯。。。

他曾经说过 “以后和你在一起的人未必是你的理想对象。。。”

CHOII!!!
还没在一起啦 -___-||
等下人家又给我吓跑了啦。。。
又不是不知道自己很容易吓走人 -___-|||

真是不知道我再想什么。。。
我这样随便的,
在这世上有这样多人,
都没看中一个,

偏偏却“又”喜欢上一个没有成果的东西。。。


晚上和绮谈了很久一下的天 。。。
想想下,

我和他,

都没有这样多东西谈的,

每次都冷冷的。。。

没有两句又停了。。。

和他大半年的 conversation 加起来都没有我和绮谈的一半。。。

真是搞不懂自己怎样可以
喜欢上一个和我沟通不来的人。。。
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~~
刚刚才知道为什么那天锐可以和
绮谈这样久,
原来他真的很像大哥哥,
和他聊自己的事还蛮舒服的。。。
也要谢谢你抽空听我 “发疯” ,
因为肯听我
 “发疯” 的人没有几个。。。


 很努力试着和你 ”话题。。。
你却也很努力的跟我在 “关”话题 -___-||

很想对你好,

你却不给我任何
对你好的机会。。。
一定要和我唱反调吗?


躲避我?

你到底还要躲多久?


等待,
也许也是一种幸福。。。

我还是听绮的话吧,

不等都等了半年,

不要轻易放弃。。。

继续等吧。。。


今天我面对你那些不是原因的原因,
终有一天,

会有所改变。。。



到了这里有哪首歌适合呢?
就是我在锐家一直唱的 “可不可以爱我” 。。。。
真的很配我心里在想的东西。。。
每一句,
每个字,
都很相识。。。






卢学叡 - 可不可以爱我

为什麽如此的安静
为什麽明明想靠近 却还在迟疑

努力的我保持镇定 努力开拓话题

最後却溃不成军


为什麽如此的美丽

深刻的烙在心里 最温柔的酷刑

每一天无法不想你

连闭上眼睛 怎麽都是你


你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我

虽然我对自己没有一点的把握

别害怕我难过

告诉我你真实的感受

至少忐忑能告一段落


你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我

反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄

成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过

你能给我 快乐还是寂寞



为什麽如此的美丽

深刻的烙在心里 最温柔的酷刑

每一天无法不想你

连闭上眼睛 怎麽都是你


你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我

虽然我对自己没有一点的把握

别害怕我难过
告诉我你真实的感受

至少忐忑能告一段落


你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我

反正看或不看 我依然失魂落魄

成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过

你能给我 快乐还是寂寞


想念燃烧个不停

我快只剩灰烬

你是我的呼吸


你可不可以爱我 可不可以想我

虽然我对自己没有一点的把握

别害怕我难过
告诉我你真实的感受

至少忐忑能告一段落


你可不可以爱我 可不可以看我

我依然失魂落魄

成全不是美德 拒绝也不是一种罪过

你能给我 能给我什麽

快乐还是寂寞


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Timesquare outing day~ [ Friday, 29th May 2009 ]

hehehehe
finally exam is over...
HOLIDAY WUUUUUUU~~!!!
actually not lar...
is we "holiday" ourselves...
wakakakaka.....
but tink dao my last paper, ekonomi den cham lor...
bcoz of my condition...
i might fail for ekonomi...
aiksss...
sick lar sick sick sick...
sick nvm wor...
sick liao never recover one -___-||
gek sei me...
made me boh mood to study...
boh mood to answer...
my common sense were gone on yesterday while having exam...
cham mou...
-____-||
suan liao lar...
already hand in da paper...
tink oso canot make any changes...

sleep early last nite bcoz today nid to wake early...
wahhhh thanks God dat im not sick anymore for today...
hehehehe...
if not den mati kiao lor~~
den go bus stop wait for da bus to cum lor...
tis Choi reli very careless de..
forget to bring her jelly out -___-||
left in da house...
i asked her run bak to take...
bcoz afraid dat da bus will reach earlier than usual...
lol she run like smth happened on Qi -___-||
juz da jelly specially made for Qi lar....
aishhhh...
after run cum bak den sakit perut liao lor...
sure lar...wat oso din eat...
aishhhh...
but i tink she tinks dat is worth for it??

waliaooooo da penumpang reli alot lorrr...
ppl mountain ppl sea O___O
and we kept squeezing each other...
Choi most pitiful...
kena squeeze until reli very pity lor...
almost 'flat' liao hahahahaha...
those ppl lor...
"kiap" my choi choi to da tiang wor...
yen wong~~~
not bread oso become bread lor -___-|||
den i use my arm to "hug" da tiang...
hug dao so pain -___-||
bcoz they kept pushing...
aishhh...
and tis SF more geng...
bcoz she not enuff tall ...
ermmm enuff tall lar...
is juz dat she will be very 辛苦 if wan her to catch da holder...
so wat she do???
lets see >>>>>


geng leh??
hahahahaha...
boh bian lor...
Chee Leong tall mar...
hahahahaha..
da usage of Chee Leong...XD
funny sia~~
anyway, dun misunderstand...
they r juz fren -____-|||
den reach KL Sentral all become ikan bilis liao wakakaka

den go Timesquare de 打机场...
me and Choi again basketball lor...
but there de not nice de...
too short liao -____-||
i mean da machine short,
not me...hahahaha...
da first ball i shoot den bounce bak -___-||
hit the tiang dat cover da machine...
swt betul -____-|||
after awhile Choi's Ray tiba liao...
den she so nervous >.<
me and Jing go "开音" wakakakaka...
play da bishi bashi...
at there 乱打 da button > <
rosak lorrr da machine > <
finally i know how Jing play liao...
but tis time worse than previous one dat Choi told me...
previous one is play nice nice but shout once she press da wrong one...
now is 乱打 nvm...
somemore 乱喊... -____-|||
so geng nia hahahahaha
after dat go Mc D sit sit lor...
dat "2" at there 打情骂俏 hahahaha...
so 恩爱...
c liao oso dun wan sit there be light bulb > <
go Neway on 11am...
yen wang... -___-||
especially dat Jing...
at there luan shout > <
at first all shy shy de...
See Kok Tong them ar...
all shy shy dun wan sing de...
after dat sing ...
nono...
shout like mad there -___-||
until da mic low battery...
my Xiao Lao Hu reach at bout 11.27am...
and called me -__-||
tell me she lost herself ...
aishhhhh beh tahan...
den me and Choi go out find her lor...
and den...
and den many LOL things happened lor...
but -___-||
we r more like stranger...
wondering y it is so awkward...
got nth to talk -___-||
juz kept sticking...
ermmm nonono...
kept sitting beside her...
and she kept sms -___-|||
beh tahan...
den quite alot of thing happened inside da K room...
like Choi jealous...
hahahaha dat one too common liao -___-||
always happened one lar...
den ar..
my turn to happened lar...
dat gal...
after an hour like dat den switch place...
sit beside SF...
and kept talking...
talk den nvm lor -___-|||
da hand hor...
hor hor hor...
tink dat i didnt notice or wat??
当我死的.... -___-|||
my eyes were burning to see while singing...
mouth singing eyes burning...
eye ball grow fire -___-|||
burning fiercely... -___-|||
hot hot hot~~~!!!
wondering y is it so hot inside da K room...
express yi xia my feeling...
go choose song and sing...
nono...is shout -___-||
shout shout shout until no more voice left hahahahaha...
my voice gone -___-||
it sounds so sexy yeaa hahahahaha

after dat at sushi king more hot -___-|||
sit dao so far... -___-||
**slap slap**
dat SF even pull her go out buy rings T______T
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~~
made me 没胃口 eat...
they kept asking me to eat -___-||
but i juz dun feel like eating...
den dat Jing so sui...
at there "suan" me -___-||
"他吃醋饱了,不要管他"
reli swt -_____-|||
den at there talk+play wit Jing,Choi and Qi...
and when i half way talking suddenly Qi winked...
and i was like huh??
and i turned around...
chiii~~舍得回来了咩??
dun wan bother them huh~~!!!
didnt talk wit either SF or Xiao Lao Hu after dat...
-____-|||
and i wondering when i up lvl become "醋缸" adi?? > <

after sushi king den teman Jing go buy her bday present lor...
walk lai walk qu...
den while walking suddenly she cum closer and say "哇,很重的酸味哦" (smth like dat)
den i walk away and kept smiling there -___-||
aishhhhhhhhhhhhhhh **slap slap**
sampat sia -__-|||
after dat me and Choi walk away liao hahahaha...
bcoz Choi and Qi got smth happen again -___-|||
kept saw koko and Rachel at there -___-||
for bout 3 times liao...
again and again...
beh tahan -___-|||
den Jing call us cum bak to pay -___-||
aishhhh...

after dat they wan balik liao...
as well as Xiao Lao Hu...
only me, Jing, Choi and Qi stay...
after they gone only i realize dat im wasting time...
wanna bang my head to da wall -__-||
at there keep teh teh teh...
den Qi asked me go chase...
den i mar go lor...
run and walk run and walk...
wah...
tired like hell...
and my tshirt oso wet like hell hahahaha...
after reach there still dun feel like leaving -___-|||
so walk more lor...
aishhhh she reli...
awhile wan awhile dun wan de wor...
**slap slap**
haizzz lastly still hav to go -___-|||
bcoz she again use dat sentence "如果你再酱我以后不出来了"
wahhh say dao tis still dun wan fast fast go meh -___-|||
aiksssss...
舍不得...
den im experiencing wat Choi experienced in da morning...
din eat, run for smth silly, n result?? 肚子痛...
n juz realize dat my stomach kosong one -___-||
bcoz i din eat any proper meal since i wake up...
下腹痛~~~ T___T wuuuwuuuu~~~
went to buy da strawberry shake when they r cutting da 大头贴...
so yam gong...
Qi leave at 6pm+++
and we leave at 7pm++
bcoz every where oso jam -___-||
so hav to wait until 7pm...
while waiting...
again gone "sot" -___-||
and let them "suan" again -___-||
say i smile dao "see teeth cant see eyes" -___-||
aishhhhhhhhhh...
canot de meh -___-|||
den at car again 傻笑 -___-||
yen wang~~~
incurable liao -___-|||
if not den at there 憋笑 > <

reached home,
after shower...
more 严重 -___-||
especially when hugging da pillow -____-|||
holding it to everywhere...
nice scent on da pillow kekekeke > <

ok here is da story...
she "sat" a plastic bag to me in da K room...
at first tot dat juz da pillow dat i wan from her...
after dat when i take out only saw 2 other thing...
hahahaha da 枕头袋 and panda 吊饰...
den i at there "ohhhh got free 枕头袋 one...
i even tinking to take my house de 枕头袋 to "lap" da pillow b4 i know got free 枕头袋... -__-||
hahahahaha bcoz dun wan 弄肮脏...
lol she is reli....
anyway...
no pic for pillow...
she dun let me upload -___-||
aishhhhhh macam hide 情夫 like dat -___-||

tis is da panda 吊饰>>>


(in use...)


3 words for my condition,
tired, hungry, pain -____-|||
hungry bcoz din eat even a piece of rice -___-||
juz kept drinking "water" like soup,juice etc etc...
but not so hungry after reach home...
but reli pain...
my feet...my toe T____T
when i finish shower i oso got shock wit my own toes...
all gone purple colour O___O
reli first time O___O
but when i take pic dat time ok alot liao...

(left feet)
swollen >>>>>>


swollen+red+pain >>>>>


(right feet)
not dat serious...but still swell >>>>


pain T____T >>>>>


(right and left leg)




after dat on9...
argue wit Zong lagi...
explain and explain..
reli tired...


couldnt sleep well at nite..
kept 傻笑 again -___-|||
**slap slap slap**

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Adenium hybrid a.k.a 富贵花

Notes : click on photos to view better resolution

我家的富贵花“们”...















开得很美丽吧?
可是我迟了~
刚开的时候更美...
现在是差不多要凋谢了...


没有抓紧时间的我...
时常错失很多机会...
像拍花一样...
当它开得很美丽的时候...
我只是站在那边看,
没有把它拍下来...
有时候也对“它们”不理不睬的...
想到拍不拍都无所谓...
等到要凋谢了才来拍...
才懂得珍惜...
这可是第一次开到五朵花这样多...
后悔?
没用了...
已经发生的事情,
是改变不了的...


lesson of the day :
appreciate and treasure before it is too late...
no matter is your friends, families, pets, lover....
just everything...

haizzz...boh mood ar T___T

cham~~
cham~~~~
no mood to study at all...
study wat oso tak masuk...
haizzz...
only masuk on da last minute...
so i decided to squeeze everything when im at skool few minutes or hours b4 exam starts > <
-____-|||
haizzz sei lor...
mid term already macam ini..
my SPM mar cham??
wahhh T_____T
i dun wan~~~~
i wan AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-___-||




渐渐的...
变淡了...
时冷时热...
捉摸不定...
隔膜??
让我们离彼此越来越远了...
你还是一样...
一样忽视我的"存在"...

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Happy Birthday To 577, Jing!!!

MUACKSSS~~~!!!
hahahaha give u a kiss first~~~
and oso sing birthday song for u here lar...
alto i sang it on last nite...

Happy Birthday To You~~~
Happy Birthday To You~~~~~~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO 577~~~~~~~~~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U~~~~~~~~~~~


yay~~~~
clap hands clap hands...
blow candle~~~ XD

SGM audition for Dancing Group + LoL no matter how much i chant or do, u r still da same, never change...

today 7 early 8 early wake up...
-____-|||
den at kaikan...
wahhhh~~~~~~
ppl mountain ppl sea....
so many ppl join dancing group -___-|||
haizzzzz....
den after dat divided into 4 station lor...
me and Jing dipisahkan T_____T
haizzzz...
in 2 hours learned 4 kind of dances???!!!
siao~~~!!!
-___-||
alto is quite simple steps...
but...
who rmbs lar -___-|||
keep spinning and turning around wit my toe...
until it swells T____T
pain pain~~~~
tired like hell...
important thing is,
WALAOEH!!!
super hot~~
hot dao i headache liao~~~
aiksss~~~
wish to go home so much T_________T

"i wanna go home~~~~~let me go homeeeeee~~~~~~~~~"
(Micheal Buble - Home)

after reach home,
fast fast panaskan da soup,
fast fast pour onto da kuey tiao,
fast fast eat,
fast fast take 2 panadol soluble
and fast fast sleep -____-|||
haizzz panadol again...
-____-|||
panadol panadol panadol...
my life~~~my liver~~~my body~~~
juz panadol lar -___-||
cant live without panadol -___-|||
boh bian~~
aikssssss -___-||
bcoz tomoro having exam...
ACCOUNT SOMEMORE!!!!
MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT EVER !!!
dun wanna take risk...
so terpaksa to ruin my liver yi xia -___-|||



u r cold to me...
while im not cold to u...
read ur pm...
guess dat u were sad...
dun wanna bother u den...
went to take out da notes...
memorizing da formats...
but fail T_____T
no mood at all...
where my mood had gone???
since i duno wat to do...
went and chant...
chanted for 20 minutes...
ermmmm alto it doesnt sounds much to others,
but it sounds much to me bcoz is reli tiring -___-||
my throat~~~~~
chant until no more voice left...
at da same time chanted for u...
wan u to be happy no matter how will other thing be...
and forget bout da sadness and da past...
but wat u told me after dat??
u went to take knife and stabbed ur tummy???!!!
listening to dat is more like taking knife stabbing my heart...
da true feeling of mine dat u never know...
tears oozing out...
it stopped...
continue to listen to u...
but in d end...
is so LOL dat u said dat u feel bad dat u dun care mae...
but went and care dat BITCH???!!!
so care???!!!
until stalking wats ppl's daily movements???huh???!!
is reli ...
so...
LOL!!!
it seems dat im juz doing everything for nth...
bcoz no matter how...
u r still da same...
never change...
and never tink of changing too....
times??u nid times??
well...
i gave u a lot...
how bout me??
u never ever giv me times to "recover" or consider...
and said dat i acted like didnt wan to...
lol....
u r juz so.....
duno how to tell...
pushing me away and pulling me bak...
pushing and pulling...
away and bak...
again and again...
continuously~~

i juz can tell myself ...
no...i juz can "REMIND" myself 3 words...
which is...

“算了吧!”

anything will do...
im fed up~~~
fed up of everything!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

koko's frens home coming~~

so long time din blog liao hor....
hahahaha...
bcoz got nth special to post lar...
lai lai qu qu sama saja...
almost everyday oso so emo de lar...
-____-|||
later ppl read dao sien...
ok...
here's da story hahaha


Yesterday, 14th May 2009
my koko de frens come KL play lor...
and stay in my house...
+ overnite of coz...
da process of introducing each other not reli important...
-____-|||
wat important is...
they are so funny...
and oso frenly lor...
cute too..
hahahahaha...
i juz kept talking wit them while having dinner...
or i shud say while waiting for our dinner...
and kept laughing like mad there...
> <>
talk until dun nid study liao -___-||
i somemore having exam de leh...
but din touch da book at all
wakakakaka having so much fun wit dat conversation until dun bear to leave... -___-||
and they were so worry bout my exam...
afraid dat i will fail bcoz i din study > <
and kept asking me wats coming out ...
and while having our dinner,
these "seniors" -___-||
giving 错误示范...
bcoz i said tomoro i got chinese exam, den they kept using 成语 -___-||
and din reli use in proper way...
made us laugh our ass off hahahahaha...
when bout 11pm+++ they go clubbing liao lu~~~
after doing all my things den go to sleep lor~~~


Today, 15th May 2009

haiz....
din sleep tio T___T
bcoz im not sleeping in my own room...
not used to it...
kept waking up while sleeping in papa mama's room > <

and.....
wah~~~
my exam reli....
horrible terrible and vegetable XD
aishhh how can i be so NOT serious while doing my question paper -__-|||
simply write simply write and den sleep -___-||
yen wang~~
cham lor tis time... -____-||||

den at nite...
they r bout to leave...
kinda 舍不得 alto we r not dat close...
da closest ? i tink is wit Purple bah~~
bcoz i din talk much wit others hahaha...
b4 we leave, we took some photos...
lets see....

blurry??take again take again~~pai seh >.<


ohhh~~can liao~~lets introduce now...
starts from the left (well, i'll spell their name wit pinyin)
Ji Yin, Ai Ling, Mei Qing, Purple (her name is actually 紫 Hui)


aishhh -___-|| my face reli... > <


took wit Purple~~


a reli nice memory wit them which shud be keep in my mind ^o^

Monday, May 11, 2009

meaningless life??

feel so lost...
so empty..
day by day...
juz let it pass like tis...
didnt do anything which is meaningful...
haizzz...
felt like asking myself a question...
"wat am i living for??? "
i reli duno...
wondering y am i living in tis world...
and oso wondering wat makes me turned to be like tis...
is luv??
tink so...

going to meet 小老虎 adi...
hmmmm...
Choi go meet her QiQi jek~~~
halfly hers...
me leh??
going to meet someone...
dat...
halfly oso not mine...
completely not mine de...
so...
lao po dun worry bah hahahaha
i wont dump u de...
for sure i will kena dump first -___-||
anyway,
u tink too much lar..
we r juz frens -___-||
nth much...
not even close or best fren...
normal?
hmmmm....

今天不知道发什么神经,
偷进去他的msn看一下...
不用问,
我依然被block...

他依然再 “后悔+emo” ...
看到他的 pm & display name...
想一想,
他从来都没把有关我的东西放在他的 pm / display name...
没办法,
我就是那么失败...
有过
个...
( 一个手都数得完... -___-||| 而且全部都玩我,没有一个真心的 )
从来没有被他们任何一个 “提起”,
也没有被重视过,
长到酱大只,
大大个站在那边都会被忽视...
-___-|||
我就那么没有存在感吗?
算了吧...
我这种...
"三等公民"
-____-|||
等吃, 等睡, 等死 ...
呵呵~~

Saturday, May 9, 2009

unveiled ur personality...be thankful...Thx alot Gohonzon~~

lol...
well...
dun feel anything...
juz feel dat y r u like tis??
n wondering wat da hell u r tinking actually??
revengeful ?? selfish???
u wanna do dat bak to her bcoz she did dat to u??
wanna pay bak everything dat she had done to u??
did u pay bak when she's gud to u??
even u pay bak,
oso not as great as hers...
u kept saying dat isn't luv...
but u always tell dat it is luv...
and after dat u change ur words...
and kept explaining...
well...explain or not is da same...
bcoz im blur wit both of u...
both of u r juz complicated...
luv or not??
only u urself will know ...
hmmm...
but i tink dat u wont know...
bcoz u duno how to distinguish too n not clear wit ur own feelings...
hahahaha so i tink im still better,
at least i know how to distinguish my own feelings...
yea,
im unreasonable...
how bout u??
u r ridiculous ... lol...

and now...
i tink i shud be thankful...
be thankful dat u never chose me...
be thankful dat im not wit u...
or else i will be reli suffer than now...
y??
u can do all dat....all of dat...
no matter is gud or bad...
juz to get her bak...
not bcoz u luv her...
but bcoz she treat u too nice dat u couldnt find anyone else like her and u dun bear to let her go...
tis is wat u tell me...
lol...
r u out of ur mind???!!!

i am changed...
as well as u r...
i changed my feeling...
u changed ur whole mind...
u changed ur words...
changed ur personality...
changed everything...
or i misunderstood u??
dat actually u never change??
u r like tis since da beginning??
is juz dat i couldnt c???

but still...
thanks alot Gohonzon...
and oso God...
now i know everything...
know y u dun let me get smth i luv so much...
is for my own gud...
bcoz dat thing dat i luv so much,
doesnt suits me...
and oso is not as gud as i tink...

im wake~~

Friday, May 8, 2009

everything has an end...and now...comes to the end...

explain..
argued...
fought...
realized...
apologize...
persuade...

n tink dat it will be ok after dat...
how bad...
things never goes on da way i wan...
i juz duno wat to say about u...
u said dat i kept changing my words...
awhile tis awhile dat...
but i dun tink u r much diff than me...
bcoz ur words were kept changing too...
is dat bcoz i change??
and u pay dat bak to me???
u r a person like tis...
as i know...
u told me bcoz i dun care u,
so u wont care me...
lol...
how bout formerly??
when i care u so much but u juz gave me 10% of caring and 90% is wit her???
did i said dat to u??
did i say i wanna leave??
no..never...
i juz complain...
after complaining, datz it...
no matter u will change or not...will care more or not...
im still da same...
u nid to be responsible on my changes...
u r da one who made everything turned to become like tis...
but u r blaming her and even me dat we treat u like tis and dat...
b4 blaming or complaining,
did u ever tink for us??or tink of our goods??
when juz alil bad dat we done,
u be so unsatisfied...
but when u done all da bad to us,
did we leave or feel unsatisfied??
we juz kept quiet and admit dat is our bad,is our fault...
is enuff...
is ends...
i wake from my dream adi...
how bout u??
u shud wake too...
u adi "enjoyed" enuff...
having both side of luv,
having both side of caring,
owning 2 person at da same time...
while we hav nth...
u r enuff lucky and fortunate...
is juz dat u never know how to treasure...
or mayb i shud say u still haven learned ur lesson...
bcoz im still here...
still staying beside u...
so damn silly...
even how and wat ppl said at me...
is enuff...
da luv is adi flow away together wit tears and blood since dat day...
and it will never cum bak anymore...
flowed miles away from me...
no matter how hard i tried to get it bak,
but still...
i couldnt...
still hav to say dat...
" im sorry "


behaving so mean to u...
is juz bcoz of da way i tink of u...

dun worry...
it will not happen again...
bcoz is already ends...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

is numb??empty??or meaningless??

din update blog for so long time adi...
hmmmmm...
nth special to talk bout on these days...
lazy to update blog too...
quite emo on these days...
physically not feeling well...
and mentally oso not feeling well...
dun feel like doing anything...
haizzz..
and found dat my life is so meaningless...


my koko came bak on today lu ^^ V
arghhhh~~
his "straight" hair boh liao...
wakakakaka...
but looks weird lar tis hair -___-|||
he ar...
cum bak den sot sot one lar...
at there act cute > <
aishhhhhhhhhhhhh
somemore play wit da bear bear dat i wanna giv Xiao Lao Hu -___-||
aishhhh...
and say my niu niu not cute worrrr...
**slap**
say my niu niu not cute nvm lor...
somemore say my 牛小妹 不男不女 -____-|||


so sorry for everything...
and oso da changes...
i cant help it...
mayb is like wat da monk told u..
gud thing will cum to u when u hav gud karma...
so...
go and gain more gud karma den hahahaha
mayb i will be bak...
or mayb there will be a person who r better for u...
gud luck~