haizzz...how long i will continue to be like tis??

when will u forgiv me??
when will u come on9???
my prayer isnt enuff??
im sending u a msg everynite b4 i sleep...
i hope u uds dat y am i behaving like tis..
is reli not wat i wan..
im sorry..
reli sorry my babe...
everything is my fault....
i deserve it...
i shudnt...
and mustnt talk to u like dat....
everytime...
everytime im like tis....
i duno when am i going to change my stupid behavior...
i know...
i know sorry cant help anything...
and cant mend ur heart...
i duno u r angry wit me...
or disappointed wit me..
or sad wit me...
im juz..
im so useless...
im sorry...

y everything must come at da same time???
im already enuff frustrated for my darling's case...
n there r still so many "visiting" me...
felt like dying...
everyone...
"everyone" is like tis...

1....
2....
3....

3 of them...
am i reli so suck??
or im not qualified to own ppl's luv...
and i juz can giving without gaining or taking any???
and my role for everytime...
is helping..
helping...
and oso...
helping...
passing...
passing...
and passing...
how many times i nid to pass mine to others??
am i stupid??
brainless??
or wat???
y am i doing tis everytime...
bcoz dat is my only choice??
and i cant do anything else besides dat??
wat is my role???
my role is to help ppl like dat and make myself to be suffer like tis??
dat is da reason y i born in tis world??
not enjoying my life but using my own happiness to fulfill/satisfy other's needs??
and at d end is all sadness for me??
there r only me...
who r stupid like tis in tis world...
i reli couldnt concentrate for my studies...
wat shud i do to help myself??
chanting??
even when i chanting my mind still can go for other thing...
den wat for to chant??
since im not sincere at all...
God wont help me too wit dat insincere prayers...
im so frustrated.....
help me??
someone pls??