hmmmmm...
today...
our choi choi din cum to skool again...
and i got scold by dat SF without a reli gud reason again...
Again~~~and again~~~
again~~~~againnnn~~~~~
aishhhhh
reli...
depressing...
isolated during ERT class...
at there like invisible de...
cum bak class alto is "visible"...
but let her 抓我开枪...
wanna express ur feeling??
sure can~~~
i so sek each of u all...
sure can...
but hor...
y must "shoot" only me leh???
and without any gud reason??
juz scolding me for fun??
bcoz is reli quite fun i tink...
since i NEVER fight bak...
and u might tink dat im ok wit it...
and felt reli fun..
im not much diff than Choi...
i wanna say dat...
im SENSITIVE TOO OK???
is juz dat i dun tell out...
dun tell doesnt mean i dun mind...
reli dun uds wat da hell is wrong wit u...
u never be like tis last time...
but after having new lao gong den forget bout us...
din care much bout our feelings and all...
juz care of urself....
and be like wat they said, 独裁...
when u say dat u r alone, who accompany u???
when Choi din go tuition, who accompany u to go???
when u say dat u wanna go here and there, who accompany u???
when u wanna express ur feeling, tell out everything, who is da one dat call and listen to u???
when u wanted to bite ppl, who is da one dat let u bite all da time???
when u having prob, who is da one dat helping u???
when u r sad, who is da one dat be by ur side???
at last??wat???
get nth...
is ok...
we doing all tis is out of kindness...
no..not kindness...
is bcoz of friendship...
and sure it is unrequited ...
bcoz we never expect to get anything from u...
im not trying to hint or show anything by telling all these here...
juz wan to remind u bout us...
bout wat we had done for u....
do u still see dat we r exist??
opsss i shudnt said like tis...
is obviously dat u reli see Jing exist....
bcoz u nid her so much to tell bout u and ur lao gong de things...
since non of us r interested except Jing...
wat u tell me on dat day are nonsense...
wat??u r still da same gang as me???
u r not anymore...
u already walk out from da "warm/pitiful house"
(house for ppl who nid caring and loving [another way] from others so much...juz like me)
u r having someone for u rite now...
having so many admirers...
even not for current...
but still...
u ever had admirers...
dat house juz left me...
only me...
standing on da same spot...
still doing da same thing...
tinking da same thing...
mindset never change...
heart never change...
but our dear fren, SF...
not only her appearance was changed...
she changed her style...
changed her name...
even her heart...
and oso da way she treated us...
but still never realize bout her changes...
and kept telling dat she still da same...
same??
is reli obvious dat u changed everything...
if u continue to be like tis...
u r not much diff than "dat two person"
but i tink u r happy wit da changed...
i cant tie u...
juz let u go den...
as long as u r happy...
da former SF, my former lao po...
is already gone...
disappear...
and will never be bak anymore...
here to say...
Goodbye~
SF...
wish u goodluck and all the best...
go ahead to be ur Raiy...
we r always here supporting u...
no matter wat u become,
u r still our fren...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, 28th April 2009
today...
bcoz i tugas...
but dun wan to go down early...
(lonely mar)
so i stay in da class...
but nid to save time...
so i eat my bread in da class...
a.k.a curi makan...
but Pn Choong caught me...
i tink she wanted to scold me one lar...
den Jing and Pei Yee helping me...
by making funs lor~~
so i tink teacher oso "bu hao yi shi" to scold...
den she oso "pei he" to make fun -___-||
at dat time...
saw SF's face...
a 无奈 de face staring at me...
ok..
i got da warning...
but i didnt care...
-___-||
still eating after Pn Choong go to other side...
at tis time...
gao lat...
got scold by SF liao...
waliao -___-||
eat bread only leh???
scold like i eat liao her lao gong or wat -___-|||
eat bread oso canot -___-||
she reli........
........无言.......
finally...
our E.T. de akaun...
got more students liao...
wakakakka...
and oso add math de...
actually is da same person lar...
and dat 2 gal is my ex-tuition mate...
datz y i found they looks familiar > <
no wonder i cant recognize lar...
da one wit short hair now is having a long hair,
and da one wit long hair formerly is now having a short hair...
terbalik pulak > <
today Mrs. Lee seems to be very serious..
mayb bcoz got new students hor > <
canot play like formerly liao...
aikssss~~~
cum bak -___-||
let her ngam lagi...
**yawn~~**
u wan den man man lar har~~
hmm jor lei ~~
bcoz i tugas...
but dun wan to go down early...
(lonely mar)
so i stay in da class...
but nid to save time...
so i eat my bread in da class...
a.k.a curi makan...
but Pn Choong caught me...
i tink she wanted to scold me one lar...
den Jing and Pei Yee helping me...
by making funs lor~~
so i tink teacher oso "bu hao yi shi" to scold...
den she oso "pei he" to make fun -___-||
at dat time...
saw SF's face...
a 无奈 de face staring at me...
ok..
i got da warning...
but i didnt care...
-___-||
still eating after Pn Choong go to other side...
at tis time...
gao lat...
got scold by SF liao...
waliao -___-||
eat bread only leh???
scold like i eat liao her lao gong or wat -___-|||
eat bread oso canot -___-||
she reli........
........无言.......
finally...
our E.T. de akaun...
got more students liao...
wakakakka...
and oso add math de...
actually is da same person lar...
and dat 2 gal is my ex-tuition mate...
datz y i found they looks familiar > <
no wonder i cant recognize lar...
da one wit short hair now is having a long hair,
and da one wit long hair formerly is now having a short hair...
terbalik pulak > <
today Mrs. Lee seems to be very serious..
mayb bcoz got new students hor > <
canot play like formerly liao...
aikssss~~~
cum bak -___-||
let her ngam lagi...
**yawn~~**
u wan den man man lar har~~
hmm jor lei ~~
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, 27th April 2009
bcoz Jing complain,
say my blog hor...
toooooooooooooooooooo long story...
ask me to summarize it...
make it more shorter and juz write da main point...
so hor...
today da whole day is...
at nite,
i kena scold...
fine...
bcoz i got nth to explain or fight bak too...
but after dat...
i wanted to scold bak at here...
dat...
u dun tink dat u know my feeling so well...
and dun try to compare ur "wound" wit mine...
bcoz is 2 diff things...
i wont say dat im hurter than u,
bcoz i am not u, i never feel wat u r feeling rite now datz y i wont know how hurt u r...
da same as u...
u r not me, u never feel wat im feeling, datz y u WILL NEVER KNOW HOW HURT AM I...
uds???
even i tell u tis sentence,
but u r still trying to compare urs wit mine...
yea,
urs might be hurter...
but dun say smth like "mine is 10 times hurter than urs"
bcoz u never know how hurt i am...
but here,
i can tell u dat,
tis is only ur first time being so hurt,
and da wounds i get is more than u,
often than u...
juz collect all da hurts...
i tink is already more than ur "once"...
lol well..
and of coz i am not trying to comparing at tis time too...
juz an example im giving...
anyway if u get to read tis post,
i tink dat my example for u is nth...
bcoz u never feel wat i feel...
moreover, is 2 diff situation of "hurt"...
so...
canot be compare...
and lastly i wanna tell..
577 dun perasan ok?? -___-|||
not u har...
say my blog hor...
toooooooooooooooooooo long story...
ask me to summarize it...
make it more shorter and juz write da main point...
so hor...
today da whole day is...
at nite,
i kena scold...
fine...
bcoz i got nth to explain or fight bak too...
but after dat...
i wanted to scold bak at here...
dat...
u dun tink dat u know my feeling so well...
and dun try to compare ur "wound" wit mine...
bcoz is 2 diff things...
i wont say dat im hurter than u,
bcoz i am not u, i never feel wat u r feeling rite now datz y i wont know how hurt u r...
da same as u...
u r not me, u never feel wat im feeling, datz y u WILL NEVER KNOW HOW HURT AM I...
uds???
even i tell u tis sentence,
but u r still trying to compare urs wit mine...
yea,
urs might be hurter...
but dun say smth like "mine is 10 times hurter than urs"
bcoz u never know how hurt i am...
but here,
i can tell u dat,
tis is only ur first time being so hurt,
and da wounds i get is more than u,
often than u...
juz collect all da hurts...
i tink is already more than ur "once"...
lol well..
and of coz i am not trying to comparing at tis time too...
juz an example im giving...
anyway if u get to read tis post,
i tink dat my example for u is nth...
bcoz u never feel wat i feel...
moreover, is 2 diff situation of "hurt"...
so...
canot be compare...
and lastly i wanna tell..
577 dun perasan ok?? -___-|||
not u har...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
My Youtube Acc Got Banned T____T ---> Saturday, 25th April 2009
aishhhhhh...
dat stupid house behind my house one...
renovate wat lar...
7 early 8 early at there drill drill drill...
duno drill wat..
ngiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~~~~~~
bising betul -___-|||
woke up wanted to watch BoA's My Name geh...
who knows...
**BROOOM BROOOOMM**** (thundering+lightning)
my account gone T____T
went and check my mail...
wat the hell???!! > <
bcoz of Charmaine Sheh de video again??
da second time adi...
and oso bcoz of her...
and my account got banned bcoz of copyright...
stupid HK -___-|||
so strict for wat???
i upload those western de also haven banned me yet ehhh~~
jin hae ar -____-||
aishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh geram betul...
kept shouting there and complaining after i knew...
#$&*#)(*#&@$*(&@#$*(&%^@(#$*&)#$_@#*(!@!!!!#*$&(@#&$(@#%!!
T_______________T so damn sad oso...
aikssss my 心血 all gone T______T
i uploaded so many videos har...
take hourssssssssss to upload each...
and all da videos i favourite de oso gone T_____T
nid to re-favourite...
aiksssss...
moreover...................
haizzzzzzzzz.....
mad+blue~~~
arghhhhhhhhh~~~!!!!!
hmmm mayb wat Jing said is right...
takdir....
fate...
天意...
but oso dun like dat 搞 me mar T____T
whole day bzy manage wit my new account enuff liao lor...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
gud oso lar...
restart...
new life mayb??
reli so regret dat i didnt check mail on last nite...
da mail send to me at 12am++++
if i remove da video immediately mar nth happen lor T___T
my darling's fault... > <
whoever is in my fren list of my previous youtube account de,
pls re-add me T_____T
my new acc : KaNGaRooBaby910
link to my profile>>>>>
http://www.youtube.com/user/KaNGaRooBaby910
thanks alot T____T
at nite got scold by papa mama again...
haizzzzzzzzzz....
said dat im again using their money...
bcoz going to c Pakar Chin "again" (tis will be da forth time going there)
and kept scolding dat i didnt take gud care of my health,
and if i continue to be like tis,
i will either let Dr. Chin to wear Nike shoes or let Dr. Chin to play electric guitar...
(bcoz each time cost RM100 - RM300++++ and wit dat money i can buy Nike or electric guitar...datz y they said like dat...)
guilty~~~
made me become more blue...
im sorry if u c dat im not so active...
or mayb numb...
is juz bcoz i dun wanna get hurt anymore...
dun wan to be disappointed anymore...
is not dat i dun trust or believe u...
but no one knows wat will happened...
so...
lets see...
and oso time needed...
dat stupid house behind my house one...
renovate wat lar...
7 early 8 early at there drill drill drill...
duno drill wat..
ngiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~~~~~~
bising betul -___-|||
woke up wanted to watch BoA's My Name geh...
who knows...
**BROOOM BROOOOMM**** (thundering+lightning)
my account gone T____T
went and check my mail...
wat the hell???!! > <
bcoz of Charmaine Sheh de video again??
da second time adi...
and oso bcoz of her...
and my account got banned bcoz of copyright...
stupid HK -___-|||
so strict for wat???
i upload those western de also haven banned me yet ehhh~~
jin hae ar -____-||
aishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh geram betul...
kept shouting there and complaining after i knew...
#$&*#)(*#&@$*(&@#$*(&%^@(#$*&)#$_@#*(!@!!!!#*$&(@#&$(@#%!!
T_______________T so damn sad oso...
aikssss my 心血 all gone T______T
i uploaded so many videos har...
take hourssssssssss to upload each...
and all da videos i favourite de oso gone T_____T
nid to re-favourite...
aiksssss...
moreover...................
haizzzzzzzzz.....
mad+blue~~~
arghhhhhhhhh~~~!!!!!
hmmm mayb wat Jing said is right...
takdir....
fate...
天意...
but oso dun like dat 搞 me mar T____T
whole day bzy manage wit my new account enuff liao lor...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
gud oso lar...
restart...
new life mayb??
reli so regret dat i didnt check mail on last nite...
da mail send to me at 12am++++
if i remove da video immediately mar nth happen lor T___T
my darling's fault... > <
whoever is in my fren list of my previous youtube account de,
pls re-add me T_____T
my new acc : KaNGaRooBaby910
link to my profile>>>>>
http://www.youtube.com/user/KaNGaRooBaby910
thanks alot T____T
at nite got scold by papa mama again...
haizzzzzzzzzz....
said dat im again using their money...
bcoz going to c Pakar Chin "again" (tis will be da forth time going there)
and kept scolding dat i didnt take gud care of my health,
and if i continue to be like tis,
i will either let Dr. Chin to wear Nike shoes or let Dr. Chin to play electric guitar...
(bcoz each time cost RM100 - RM300++++ and wit dat money i can buy Nike or electric guitar...datz y they said like dat...)
guilty~~~
made me become more blue...
im sorry if u c dat im not so active...
or mayb numb...
is juz bcoz i dun wanna get hurt anymore...
dun wan to be disappointed anymore...
is not dat i dun trust or believe u...
but no one knows wat will happened...
so...
lets see...
and oso time needed...
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, 24th April 2009
wake up waliao...
pain like hell...
my lower bak is killing me T_____T
sit oso pain...
ate pain killer ...
aiksssss medicine again...
pain until *arghhhhhhhhhhh* in da morning...
bear...i bear...
aiks...
wat to say today???
we are so sorry, Pn Hilwana...
ermmmmm im sorry dat im being so lazy...
didnt hand in my composition...
Pei Yee so guilty leh...
her face so serious all da time after B.I. period... > <
sure lar...
she started everything...
grow so old liao still play wit da benang -___-|||
and never know when is da time she can play or canot to play...
teacher scold scold xia,
scold till wan cry adi...
haizzzzz...
and say dat we dun understand her feeling...
she said,
asking us to hand in her hw is like asking for alms...
but we never look at her...
and she is trying to get attention from us...
haizzzzz da worse thing is,
she is our form teacher...
nid to get all da complains from other teachers and oso headmistress...
from her face, i juz can c dat she is fierce and strong...
didnt know dat our B.I. teacher is so weak and pitiful...
aiksss...
wat i can say is still sorry...
and for more details, pls refer to Jing's blog >>>>
http://noel517.blogspot.com/2009/04/blog-post_25.html
Choi's wallet lost liao > <
aishhhhh tis gal...
always like dat...
so careless...
on call wit my darling...
aikssssss...
laughing all da time...
happy moment...
sleepy ...
after finish chant den go to sleep~~
pain like hell...
my lower bak is killing me T_____T
sit oso pain...
ate pain killer ...
aiksssss medicine again...
pain until *arghhhhhhhhhhh* in da morning...
bear...i bear...
aiks...
wat to say today???
we are so sorry, Pn Hilwana...
ermmmmm im sorry dat im being so lazy...
didnt hand in my composition...
Pei Yee so guilty leh...
her face so serious all da time after B.I. period... > <
sure lar...
she started everything...
grow so old liao still play wit da benang -___-|||
and never know when is da time she can play or canot to play...
teacher scold scold xia,
scold till wan cry adi...
haizzzzz...
and say dat we dun understand her feeling...
she said,
asking us to hand in her hw is like asking for alms...
but we never look at her...
and she is trying to get attention from us...
haizzzzz da worse thing is,
she is our form teacher...
nid to get all da complains from other teachers and oso headmistress...
from her face, i juz can c dat she is fierce and strong...
didnt know dat our B.I. teacher is so weak and pitiful...
aiksss...
wat i can say is still sorry...
and for more details, pls refer to Jing's blog >>>>
http://noel517.blogspot.com/2009/04/blog-post_25.html
Choi's wallet lost liao > <
aishhhhh tis gal...
always like dat...
so careless...
on call wit my darling...
aikssssss...
laughing all da time...
happy moment...
sleepy ...
after finish chant den go to sleep~~
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, 23rd April 2009
SF is absent for today..
u know de lor...
ppl go meet her lao gong ar~~~
den tis Choi...
has prob wit her Qi Qi...
den bcoz SF din cum,
she asked me to sit wit her...
after dat (ekonomi period)
reli -___-|||
phewww~~
luckily she bring another bag to skool today -___-||
if not i reli duno how to change subject...
> <>
(ermmmm tak berapa nak reveal dat "莫名其妙 punya things" here oh~~~ )
den oso suan liao lor...
after dat she kept singing Rainie Yang's 带我走...
sambil sing den sambil molest me -___-||
still nice dat she molest in a tender way hahahahaha -____-||
not funny.. is scary ok?? -___-|||
den during B.I period...
beh tahan tis Jing...
kept ss wit Choi's mobile > <
well... da point is...
kept hiding behind me and ss -___-||
reli 受不了 ...
went to Pyramid wit Choi ...
watched Coming Soon...
lucky~~~ is rated 18 de
but she get to buy da ticket wor~~~
den i realize dat tis Choi hor not watch movie de -___-||
kept sms-ing > <
after dat den jalan jalan lor...
eat liao den go 投球~~
let her win liao tim > <
so tiring...
a very gud exercise hahahaha
looking for 小老虎 de bday present everywhere walk until so tired...
duno y today so hot...
wondering is im hot or da weather hot...
inside pyramid oso can walk dao da shirt,hair and handkerchief oso gone wet...
spotted a reli very cute de Schnauzer's gong zai
> <>
not feeling well at da time b4 going bak...
chest burn??
duno lar > <
juz not feeling well...
went to rest after get home...
at nite den Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
again...
Lady Gaga's Again Again??
hahahaha > <
again~~~and again~~~~
use me use dao very shuang hor???
u r always like dat...
u know wat u r doing and know to distinguish reli well when u r "awake"...
but everything is opposite when u start to be "lost" bcoz of her...
well...
no comment...
tired+bored+numb wit it...
u know de lor...
ppl go meet her lao gong ar~~~
den tis Choi...
has prob wit her Qi Qi...
den bcoz SF din cum,
she asked me to sit wit her...
after dat (ekonomi period)
reli -___-|||
phewww~~
luckily she bring another bag to skool today -___-||
if not i reli duno how to change subject...
> <>
(ermmmm tak berapa nak reveal dat "莫名其妙 punya things" here oh~~~ )
den oso suan liao lor...
after dat she kept singing Rainie Yang's 带我走...
sambil sing den sambil molest me -___-||
still nice dat she molest in a tender way hahahahaha -____-||
not funny.. is scary ok?? -___-|||
den during B.I period...
beh tahan tis Jing...
kept ss wit Choi's mobile > <
well... da point is...
kept hiding behind me and ss -___-||
reli 受不了 ...
went to Pyramid wit Choi ...
watched Coming Soon...
lucky~~~ is rated 18 de
but she get to buy da ticket wor~~~
den i realize dat tis Choi hor not watch movie de -___-||
kept sms-ing > <
after dat den jalan jalan lor...
eat liao den go 投球~~
let her win liao tim > <
so tiring...
a very gud exercise hahahaha
looking for 小老虎 de bday present everywhere walk until so tired...
duno y today so hot...
wondering is im hot or da weather hot...
inside pyramid oso can walk dao da shirt,hair and handkerchief oso gone wet...
spotted a reli very cute de Schnauzer's gong zai
> <>
not feeling well at da time b4 going bak...
chest burn??
duno lar > <
juz not feeling well...
went to rest after get home...
at nite den Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
again...
Lady Gaga's Again Again??
hahahaha > <
again~~~and again~~~~
use me use dao very shuang hor???
u r always like dat...
u know wat u r doing and know to distinguish reli well when u r "awake"...
but everything is opposite when u start to be "lost" bcoz of her...
well...
no comment...
tired+bored+numb wit it...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, 21st April 2009
tired like hell da whole day...
din take dao nap...
last nite sleep so late oso...
somemore after skool den go tuition...
den when cum bak home...
sei lor...
again...
eye ball pain...
yam gong...
every tuesday not headache den is eye ball pain...
now even worse,
eye ball pain + lower back bone pain...
**arghhhhhhhhh**
u always say dat she is selfish he is selfish,
tis person selfish dat person selfish,
and oso say dat im selfish,
ok i admit dat im selfish,
but im a lot better if compare wit u...
not only selfish,
greedy u r...
lol...
my very first time...
so sorry but still nid to tell u...
u always complain tis person never care for u,
dat person never tink for u,
but did u ever care for da person who truly cares and tink for u??
yea u care...
but u never tink for me...
when i trying to let u care me,
let u tink for me...
u juz ignore it...
after ignoring...
fine...
even scolded me...
wat the heck???!!!
y...
y u turned to be like tis???
or mayb...
u r like tis since da beginning...
is juz dat i didnt realize...
unrequited??
yea it is...
but at least...
not sadness dat i wan to get from u...
started to be numb...
and my heart is so empty...
everyday facing u like dat...
listening to all ur hurtful words...
for u it is not hurtful...
but for me...
it is...
da one who tells will never get hurt...
da one who hears always get hurt..
datz da fact...
but i know u couldnt control urself...
i will try to be understanding...
but is already "too" understanding i am..
and lol..
if u could control urself,
den i wouldnt be sad or moody like tis...
anyway..
numb...
wat u wan to say to me...
wat u wan to do to me...
juz go ahead...
since im already like tis...
not much diff...
and i oso cant avoid u from telling me all da hurtful things...
u wont uds me...
wont uds my feeling...
bcoz u never try to uds...
but kept saying dat i didnt uds...
i uds ur feeling even im not experiencing it...
but u never uds my feeling bcoz u will never get to experience it...
你是你, 我是我...
see...
worth anot???
everyone hate me so much rite now...
not hate..
juz...
wouldnt care me...
care my things...
since wat i say oso untrustworthy...
din take dao nap...
last nite sleep so late oso...
somemore after skool den go tuition...
den when cum bak home...
sei lor...
again...
eye ball pain...
yam gong...
every tuesday not headache den is eye ball pain...
now even worse,
eye ball pain + lower back bone pain...
**arghhhhhhhhh**
u always say dat she is selfish he is selfish,
tis person selfish dat person selfish,
and oso say dat im selfish,
ok i admit dat im selfish,
but im a lot better if compare wit u...
not only selfish,
greedy u r...
lol...
my very first time...
so sorry but still nid to tell u...
u always complain tis person never care for u,
dat person never tink for u,
but did u ever care for da person who truly cares and tink for u??
yea u care...
but u never tink for me...
when i trying to let u care me,
let u tink for me...
u juz ignore it...
after ignoring...
fine...
even scolded me...
wat the heck???!!!
y...
y u turned to be like tis???
or mayb...
u r like tis since da beginning...
is juz dat i didnt realize...
unrequited??
yea it is...
but at least...
not sadness dat i wan to get from u...
started to be numb...
and my heart is so empty...
everyday facing u like dat...
listening to all ur hurtful words...
for u it is not hurtful...
but for me...
it is...
da one who tells will never get hurt...
da one who hears always get hurt..
datz da fact...
but i know u couldnt control urself...
i will try to be understanding...
but is already "too" understanding i am..
and lol..
if u could control urself,
den i wouldnt be sad or moody like tis...
anyway..
numb...
wat u wan to say to me...
wat u wan to do to me...
juz go ahead...
since im already like tis...
not much diff...
and i oso cant avoid u from telling me all da hurtful things...
u wont uds me...
wont uds my feeling...
bcoz u never try to uds...
but kept saying dat i didnt uds...
i uds ur feeling even im not experiencing it...
but u never uds my feeling bcoz u will never get to experience it...
你是你, 我是我...
see...
worth anot???
everyone hate me so much rite now...
not hate..
juz...
wouldnt care me...
care my things...
since wat i say oso untrustworthy...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, 20th April 2009
argue again...
yea...
i do know dat u uds...
i know dat u care...
and oso know dat u tink for me...
but...
u never be in my place...
u cant feel wat im feeling...
u wont know wat da hell is in my mind...
u didnt face wat im facing...
u never meet who i met...
u doesnt looks like me...
ur destiny doesnt like mine neither...
u oso know dat i mind ppl's words so much...
how many times i nid to repeat da same thing??
repeat and repeat??
im so so so tired...
and oso...
u r not me...
u said all is bcoz of myself...
i felt inferior...
inferior...
i am not like tis...
never be like tis u know???
im so happy formerly...
never tink bout dat at all...
until one day i got despise+criticize+discriminate by a guy...
and everything starts at tis time...
for u it might be reli easy...
but for me is so hard in finding someone to like me bak...
moreover nid to find a person dat i hav feelings for too...
even found...so wat???
do u tink dat person likes me bak??
obviously no...
even i go and confess...
juz disgrace i will get...
bcoz da result is reli obvious dat u dun nid to ask...
and dun ever say dat i never try to find and all...
bcoz u NEVER know if i tried anot...
and u oso wont know dat if i confess anot...
and oso...
is not like i go everywhere and make frens wit guys...
make frens...
do u know how realistic they r??
they make frens by looking at ur face...
u know y???
bcoz they r looking for partner too...
datz y they r finding gud looking gals...
is not like wat u said,
make frens first...
u know...
for so long hor...
making fren first de hor...
only "him" lor...
datz y...
he gave me lots of memories...
haizzzzz....
ok end tis...
long story to tell...
lazy to tell...
conclusion??
why...
i juz can ask...y??y being so unfair to me??
i am always the introducer of everything....
but at last, i always get nothing...
why??
y am i so suffer??
or...
im da one who make myself to be suffer like tis??
if u r not facing wat u r facing rite now...
u r not being sad like tis rite now...
and living happily wit her...
i might already leave...
get rid off da "suffer" and oso "sadness"...
since i see ...
and know dat how much she is mean to u...
how important she is for u...
and oso u luv her so much...
which i couldnt replace her in ur heart...
couldnt make u forget bout her...
4eva...
yea...
i do know dat u uds...
i know dat u care...
and oso know dat u tink for me...
but...
u never be in my place...
u cant feel wat im feeling...
u wont know wat da hell is in my mind...
u didnt face wat im facing...
u never meet who i met...
u doesnt looks like me...
ur destiny doesnt like mine neither...
u oso know dat i mind ppl's words so much...
how many times i nid to repeat da same thing??
repeat and repeat??
im so so so tired...
and oso...
u r not me...
u said all is bcoz of myself...
i felt inferior...
inferior...
i am not like tis...
never be like tis u know???
im so happy formerly...
never tink bout dat at all...
until one day i got despise+criticize+discriminate by a guy...
and everything starts at tis time...
for u it might be reli easy...
but for me is so hard in finding someone to like me bak...
moreover nid to find a person dat i hav feelings for too...
even found...so wat???
do u tink dat person likes me bak??
obviously no...
even i go and confess...
juz disgrace i will get...
bcoz da result is reli obvious dat u dun nid to ask...
and dun ever say dat i never try to find and all...
bcoz u NEVER know if i tried anot...
and u oso wont know dat if i confess anot...
and oso...
is not like i go everywhere and make frens wit guys...
make frens...
do u know how realistic they r??
they make frens by looking at ur face...
u know y???
bcoz they r looking for partner too...
datz y they r finding gud looking gals...
is not like wat u said,
make frens first...
u know...
for so long hor...
making fren first de hor...
only "him" lor...
datz y...
he gave me lots of memories...
haizzzzz....
ok end tis...
long story to tell...
lazy to tell...
conclusion??
why...
i juz can ask...y??y being so unfair to me??
i am always the introducer of everything....
but at last, i always get nothing...
why??
y am i so suffer??
or...
im da one who make myself to be suffer like tis??
if u r not facing wat u r facing rite now...
u r not being sad like tis rite now...
and living happily wit her...
i might already leave...
get rid off da "suffer" and oso "sadness"...
since i see ...
and know dat how much she is mean to u...
how important she is for u...
and oso u luv her so much...
which i couldnt replace her in ur heart...
couldnt make u forget bout her...
4eva...
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, 19th April 2009
by right..
today we shud stay at home de...
bcoz my mama went to Kaikan...
on duty leh~~~ for gokuyo~~
but hor...
my tis "tea pot" koko...
没事找事做...
not reli lar...
is all bcoz of his "tea pot" gf too...
canot blame...
den we oso terpaksa help him...
sampat...
at da beginning he said wan us to go pyramid to redeem da handbag at Guess...
and when he sms he oso say "take da handbag"
so i tot he won prize or smth and didnt ask him...
and oso he tell us dat we nid to take it in tis 2 days time...
den ok lor...i tell papa...
den papa called koko and ask clearly lor...
only know -___-||
is dat gf go to Guess handbag shop...
wan to buy but boh lui wor~~~
so how??
call my koko lar~~~~
and dat one limited de...
only left 2...
so she reserved first lor...
and bcoz din bayar deposit hor...
so hor da time limit is 2 days lor...
den hor my koko hor...
reli wan kill him...
tak faham wat is "redemption" and "reservation" -____-||
is tak faham or wan to tipu us???
somemore say "take handbag"
oso haven pay yet de -___-||
take ass ar...
buy den buy lar...
take take take ...
aishhhhhhh...
reli on fire...
so "tea pot" de lar them...
den papa say "suan liao larrr... he wan us do we mar do lor"
-____-|||
bcoz later if we dun do for him hor...
he will "lo lo luin"
den hor now he has exam...
later lo lo luin and affects his exam den not gud lor...
aishhhhhh if not choi him oso soh -___-||
den went to Taipan sin~~~
papa wan buy tis buy dat...
at pharmacy and Hai-O...
den me at car do wat???
ss -____-|||
(as u know...i like to take pic of my body part and not face XD)
(and oso i know dat my fingernail is long har~~but 1 only~~)
after dat went to Pyramid lor...
wit papa mama...
mama sure very bu shuang...
wakakaka she so luv da Guess de bag...
but my koko din buy for her...buy for his gf wakakakkaa XD
but hor...
i very shuang lor...
nyek nyek nyek...
bcoz hor tis stupid pants...
so loose...
i kept tarik tarik tarik and tarik while walking...
walk 3 steps den it falls...
and i nid to pull pull pull...
den i tell papa i wan buy belt lor...
den buy dao so yeng de lehhh~~~ **Shy shy **
at Extreme ~~~ wakakaka
yeng leh??
and hor...leather de leh...
somemore RM79.90 XD
expensive sia...
if i pay de sure i wont buy leather -___-||
bcoz leather expensive mar...
buy "PU" den enuff liao wakakaka
pirated/imitation leather XD
after dat kept giggling ...
nyek nyek nyek XD
kikikiki~~~
cool eh?? XD
got chance i will take pic of da Guess handbag and post it here har...
came bak home almost 10pm liao...
so tired...
walked for da whole day...
kept yawning ...
but boh bian...
nid to finish my hw only can sleep T_____T
today we shud stay at home de...
bcoz my mama went to Kaikan...
on duty leh~~~ for gokuyo~~
but hor...
my tis "tea pot" koko...
没事找事做...
not reli lar...
is all bcoz of his "tea pot" gf too...
canot blame...
den we oso terpaksa help him...
sampat...
at da beginning he said wan us to go pyramid to redeem da handbag at Guess...
and when he sms he oso say "take da handbag"
so i tot he won prize or smth and didnt ask him...
and oso he tell us dat we nid to take it in tis 2 days time...
den ok lor...i tell papa...
den papa called koko and ask clearly lor...
only know -___-||
is dat gf go to Guess handbag shop...
wan to buy but boh lui wor~~~
so how??
call my koko lar~~~~
and dat one limited de...
only left 2...
so she reserved first lor...
and bcoz din bayar deposit hor...
so hor da time limit is 2 days lor...
den hor my koko hor...
reli wan kill him...
tak faham wat is "redemption" and "reservation" -____-||
is tak faham or wan to tipu us???
somemore say "take handbag"
oso haven pay yet de -___-||
take ass ar...
buy den buy lar...
take take take ...
aishhhhhhh...
reli on fire...
so "tea pot" de lar them...
den papa say "suan liao larrr... he wan us do we mar do lor"
-____-|||
bcoz later if we dun do for him hor...
he will "lo lo luin"
den hor now he has exam...
later lo lo luin and affects his exam den not gud lor...
aishhhhhh if not choi him oso soh -___-||
den went to Taipan sin~~~
papa wan buy tis buy dat...
at pharmacy and Hai-O...
den me at car do wat???
ss -____-|||
(as u know...i like to take pic of my body part and not face XD)
(and oso i know dat my fingernail is long har~~but 1 only~~)
after dat went to Pyramid lor...
wit papa mama...
mama sure very bu shuang...
wakakaka she so luv da Guess de bag...
but my koko din buy for her...buy for his gf wakakakkaa XD
but hor...
i very shuang lor...
nyek nyek nyek...
bcoz hor tis stupid pants...
so loose...
i kept tarik tarik tarik and tarik while walking...
walk 3 steps den it falls...
and i nid to pull pull pull...
den i tell papa i wan buy belt lor...
den buy dao so yeng de lehhh~~~ **Shy shy **
at Extreme ~~~ wakakaka
yeng leh??
and hor...leather de leh...
somemore RM79.90 XD
expensive sia...
if i pay de sure i wont buy leather -___-||
bcoz leather expensive mar...
buy "PU" den enuff liao wakakaka
pirated/imitation leather XD
after dat kept giggling ...
nyek nyek nyek XD
kikikiki~~~
cool eh?? XD
got chance i will take pic of da Guess handbag and post it here har...
came bak home almost 10pm liao...
so tired...
walked for da whole day...
kept yawning ...
but boh bian...
nid to finish my hw only can sleep T_____T
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, 18th April 2009
wake reli early today...
bcoz i sleep early mar...
wakakakaka...
den kept watching videos on utube...
until 1pm+++ like dat...
den go clean Kaikan together wit papa mama lor...
waliao...
mop dao my hand gone red...
so pain T_____T
bcoz tis Kaikan hor...
so big...
juz da lecture room 1 already bigger than my house -____-|||
and i mopped 2 rooms...
walau~~
somemore so hot there...
bcoz these days de weather reli hot...
and at there no fan one...
juz got air cond...
and impossible u on air cond while sweating mar -___-|||
after dat went to Sri Melur makan roti canai ...
headache again...
went to take nap...
den tis koko hor -___-||
ppl sleep dao half cum and wake ppl up...
aishhhhhhhhh....
made myself bzy at nite...
bzy doing my hw~~
afraid to cum on9...
but at last still hav to cum ...
aikssss...
terpaksa...
nid to help koko add course lehh~~
den tis UUM de webpage can be dispose de lar...
server down pulak...
-____-|||
canot enter oso...
how to add jekk???
aishhhh kept refreshing da page until i gone crazy...
cold conversation we had...
scolded her...
but after dat got scold by her -___-|||
ermmm is actually explaining...
but u know...
im stubborn oso...
never try to tink in other side...
so...
got scold lor~~
and oso...
CLEARED~~
weeeeee~~~
sleep reli late for today...
4am+++
and oso chat wit my koko...
wakakakakaka...
lessons of the week :
1st : do not tink by urself without knowing da exact matter...
2nd : listen to others...but not to follow blindly....analyse wit ur brain...
3rd : better ask clearly, nicely and properly... so dat u wont make urself to be suffer...
bcoz i sleep early mar...
wakakakaka...
den kept watching videos on utube...
until 1pm+++ like dat...
den go clean Kaikan together wit papa mama lor...
waliao...
mop dao my hand gone red...
so pain T_____T
bcoz tis Kaikan hor...
so big...
juz da lecture room 1 already bigger than my house -____-|||
and i mopped 2 rooms...
walau~~
somemore so hot there...
bcoz these days de weather reli hot...
and at there no fan one...
juz got air cond...
and impossible u on air cond while sweating mar -___-|||
after dat went to Sri Melur makan roti canai ...
headache again...
went to take nap...
den tis koko hor -___-||
ppl sleep dao half cum and wake ppl up...
aishhhhhhhhh....
made myself bzy at nite...
bzy doing my hw~~
afraid to cum on9...
but at last still hav to cum ...
aikssss...
terpaksa...
nid to help koko add course lehh~~
den tis UUM de webpage can be dispose de lar...
server down pulak...
-____-|||
canot enter oso...
how to add jekk???
aishhhh kept refreshing da page until i gone crazy...
cold conversation we had...
scolded her...
but after dat got scold by her -___-|||
ermmm is actually explaining...
but u know...
im stubborn oso...
never try to tink in other side...
so...
got scold lor~~
and oso...
CLEARED~~
weeeeee~~~
sleep reli late for today...
4am+++
and oso chat wit my koko...
wakakakakaka...
lessons of the week :
1st : do not tink by urself without knowing da exact matter...
2nd : listen to others...but not to follow blindly....analyse wit ur brain...
3rd : better ask clearly, nicely and properly... so dat u wont make urself to be suffer...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
emo??sad??heart broken...bleeds...empty... Friday, 17th April 2009
didnt reli sleep well on last nite...
look at da mirror while tying hair...
gosh...
my eyes...
swells like hell...
-____-|||
well...i didnt cry...
is juz dat i din sleep well for many days...
haizzz...
reli 犯贱...
-___-||| aiksssss
go to skool..
like a dead corpse...
no expression...
smart Pei Yee...
spotted my deadly face...
and kept asking me wat happened...
but i din answer her...
juz staring outside of da window...
is reli rare...
not rare...
is totally never happened in my life dat i din speak even a word for da whole morning at skool...
im more like a dead corpse...
dying~~~
haizzzzzzz....
sad like hell...
couldnt be told...
but is reli hard to keep tis mood until skool ends lar -___-||
as u know...
all my crappy crappy besties...
aishhhhh...
kept making fun there -___-||
especially tis Jing...
ppl flu lar...
den she at there ahem~~
tink dat i cry or wat -___-|||
ello~~~i dun cry at skool one ok??? -____-|||
i never do so disgraceful de thing in public ...
boh bian~~
i strong mar XD
after dat my mood turned bak to normal...
is reli hard to be "abnormal" infront of them lor...
hardest thing ever -__-|||
after skool they came to my house...
watch Quarantine sama sama...
wit da lights off and da air cond on...
but hor...
-____-||| i wondering is dat juz me who watching da movie har???
3 of them kept pressing their mobile...
press press press...
after pressing mobile...
den they take turns go sit infront of my com and start pressing da keyboard -___-|||
oiiiiiiii~~~
got scold by me liao > <
everything goes very well when watching da front part...
bcoz is quite sien...
until da part comes...
2 of them (Jing and SF) scream like ... -____-|||
i was sitting alone on da first sofa...
after dat all of them duno wat happened...
dat Jing ben lai sit on da second sofa wit SF de...
suddenly cum and stick wit me on da same sofa -___-|||
den tis Choi ben lai using computer one...
suddenly run to my sofa too -___-||
and they kept squeezing on my sofa...
aishhhhhhhhhhhhh....
and u know wat...my sofa is already spoiled one lar...
2 seat de sofa, but 3 person sitting...
more spoil lor...
alamak -____-|||
beh tahan... > <
dat movie is actually not dat scary nor horrifying...
but i found dat SF and Jing's 尖叫声 made everything become scary -___-|||
especially tis Jing...
sit beside me...still scream until so "high pitch" -___-||
i still nid my ears de lehh~~~
reli beh tahan > <
even worse...
scream not enuff...
tis Jing cum and pinch my arm...
ouch~~~!!pain leh~~!!!
den Jing started to complain SF...
and u know wat -___-||
is actually "linked"
dat SF scare...she screamed and bite Jing...
den tis Jing felt pain and scream and pinch my arm -___-||||
aishhhhhhhh....
violent dao~~~
den Choi see Jing very cham...
so go and sit beside SF and let SF pinch+scratch = 肉体上的虐待...
LOL!!
den Choi reli very cham...
whole arm gone red...
and going to cry > <
i pity her...
switched place...
aiyooooooooooooo....
reli very pain yi xia de leh...
u know y??
she use her fingernails press hardly on ur arm while holding...
u say pain anot??
-____-||
until it swells...
so "nice" de scar...
got 4 red spot on my arm~~~ (macam 牙齿印)
lazy to take pic to prove hahahahaha
if not leh den suddenly go and slap ur lap -___-|||
and kept slapping da same part only de... -______-|||
and i juz know dat tis two gals kept screaming...
later my neighbour tot dat my house wat happened -____-||
luckily i closed all da windows and door hahahahaha XD
after finish watching me, Choi and Jing kept complaining SF...
said she very 变态 and 暴力... > <
yen wang~~~~
red dao~~~
after tuition...
after having my dinner...
haizzz...
came on9...
by reading ur personal msg...
knew dat she is alright adi...
juz realize dat how important she is???
gud....
and my turn to leave...
i know my position...
and oso know dat i am nth for u after she is bak...
juz a tool i am...
a temporary replacement i am....
is doesnt matter if i am there anot...
wat SF said is so true...
after some times they will still patch up...make up...
wat Jing scold me is so right...
i memang 犯贱...
me myself made myself become like tis...
didnt get enuff slumber...
swollen eyes...back pain...
made myself so suffer...
torture myself so much...
but i get nth at last...
juz wounds and hurts dat i get...
empty...
nth fill in my heart...
is broken...
and all da nice, sweets, goods and oso da most important thing ever,
my love...
flow away together wit my blood....
feeling-less...
look at da mirror while tying hair...
gosh...
my eyes...
swells like hell...
-____-|||
well...i didnt cry...
is juz dat i din sleep well for many days...
haizzz...
reli 犯贱...
-___-||| aiksssss
go to skool..
like a dead corpse...
no expression...
smart Pei Yee...
spotted my deadly face...
and kept asking me wat happened...
but i din answer her...
juz staring outside of da window...
is reli rare...
not rare...
is totally never happened in my life dat i din speak even a word for da whole morning at skool...
im more like a dead corpse...
dying~~~
haizzzzzzz....
sad like hell...
couldnt be told...
but is reli hard to keep tis mood until skool ends lar -___-||
as u know...
all my crappy crappy besties...
aishhhhh...
kept making fun there -___-||
especially tis Jing...
ppl flu lar...
den she at there ahem~~
tink dat i cry or wat -___-|||
ello~~~i dun cry at skool one ok??? -____-|||
i never do so disgraceful de thing in public ...
boh bian~~
i strong mar XD
after dat my mood turned bak to normal...
is reli hard to be "abnormal" infront of them lor...
hardest thing ever -__-|||
after skool they came to my house...
watch Quarantine sama sama...
wit da lights off and da air cond on...
but hor...
-____-||| i wondering is dat juz me who watching da movie har???
3 of them kept pressing their mobile...
press press press...
after pressing mobile...
den they take turns go sit infront of my com and start pressing da keyboard -___-|||
oiiiiiiii~~~
got scold by me liao > <
everything goes very well when watching da front part...
bcoz is quite sien...
until da part comes...
2 of them (Jing and SF) scream like ... -____-|||
i was sitting alone on da first sofa...
after dat all of them duno wat happened...
dat Jing ben lai sit on da second sofa wit SF de...
suddenly cum and stick wit me on da same sofa -___-|||
den tis Choi ben lai using computer one...
suddenly run to my sofa too -___-||
and they kept squeezing on my sofa...
aishhhhhhhhhhhhh....
and u know wat...my sofa is already spoiled one lar...
2 seat de sofa, but 3 person sitting...
more spoil lor...
alamak -____-|||
beh tahan... > <
dat movie is actually not dat scary nor horrifying...
but i found dat SF and Jing's 尖叫声 made everything become scary -___-|||
especially tis Jing...
sit beside me...still scream until so "high pitch" -___-||
i still nid my ears de lehh~~~
reli beh tahan > <
even worse...
scream not enuff...
tis Jing cum and pinch my arm...
ouch~~~!!pain leh~~!!!
den Jing started to complain SF...
and u know wat -___-||
is actually "linked"
dat SF scare...she screamed and bite Jing...
den tis Jing felt pain and scream and pinch my arm -___-||||
aishhhhhhhh....
violent dao~~~
den Choi see Jing very cham...
so go and sit beside SF and let SF pinch+scratch = 肉体上的虐待...
LOL!!
den Choi reli very cham...
whole arm gone red...
and going to cry > <
i pity her...
switched place...
aiyooooooooooooo....
reli very pain yi xia de leh...
u know y??
she use her fingernails press hardly on ur arm while holding...
u say pain anot??
-____-||
until it swells...
so "nice" de scar...
got 4 red spot on my arm~~~ (macam 牙齿印)
lazy to take pic to prove hahahahaha
if not leh den suddenly go and slap ur lap -___-|||
and kept slapping da same part only de... -______-|||
and i juz know dat tis two gals kept screaming...
later my neighbour tot dat my house wat happened -____-||
luckily i closed all da windows and door hahahahaha XD
after finish watching me, Choi and Jing kept complaining SF...
said she very 变态 and 暴力... > <
yen wang~~~~
red dao~~~
after tuition...
after having my dinner...
haizzz...
came on9...
by reading ur personal msg...
knew dat she is alright adi...
juz realize dat how important she is???
gud....
and my turn to leave...
i know my position...
and oso know dat i am nth for u after she is bak...
juz a tool i am...
a temporary replacement i am....
is doesnt matter if i am there anot...
wat SF said is so true...
after some times they will still patch up...make up...
wat Jing scold me is so right...
i memang 犯贱...
me myself made myself become like tis...
didnt get enuff slumber...
swollen eyes...back pain...
made myself so suffer...
torture myself so much...
but i get nth at last...
juz wounds and hurts dat i get...
empty...
nth fill in my heart...
is broken...
and all da nice, sweets, goods and oso da most important thing ever,
my love...
flow away together wit my blood....
feeling-less...
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, 16th April 2009
in my mind...
there r only one thing i rmb...
and tis had washed away all my memory on today..
i reli cant rmb wat happened at skool...
wat happened at home...
and all...
all i rmb...
is...
u broke my heart...
tis afternoon...
when i got bak home from skool...
cum on9...
excited to c dat finally u came on9...
but...
is quite heart breaking to read ur pm...
and oso to read ur words...
and at last...
still da same...
nth changed...
u still so care of her...
dun u??
on da previous days...
i was so happy...
u gave me hopes...
but wat???
everytime u r like tis...
gave me hopes...
and disappoint me at last...
another feeling of throwing me down from 100th floor to da ground...
normal...
after nap den rest...
after dat exercise...
shower...
hav my dinner...
dun feel like coming on9...
afraid...
afraid to know more...
afraid to c da truth...
but still...
be brave...
im not a coward...
and i came on9...
a person dat u dun reli wish her to cum already came on9...
and ur words shows dat too...
and again start talking bout her...
how much u worry...
how sad u r...
until couldnt eat...
couldnt sleep...
kept crying...
u tried so hard to contact her...
so nervous...
asked me where is da custom...
asked me to help u call all da hospitals...
all...
johor...
all.....
is not dat i dun wan to help...
and oso not da matter of money...
y dun u uds???
thing is not as easy as u said...
as u know...my dad is not an easy person...
yea...u do know...
but when ur heart goes to her...
u will never tink for me...
be like never know bout my things...
and i always tink dat u r da one who uds me da most...
so now...
i nid to explain...
i am not like wat u said...
i am not heartless...
i always wanted to help...
as u know...
tis is not da first time i helped too...
i reli... 无能为力...
u asked me to tell him da truth...
if he knew im like tis...
become like tis...
is all bcoz of u...
wat u tink he will do???
sure dun let me to connect to da internet anymore...
is not cut off wit u...
he knows nth bout computer...
he is not dat stupid even he knows nth bout computer...
da smartest way...
throw away my modem...
tis is wat he always tell me...
if i dun listen to his words...
he will not let me on9...
but y...
y u say dat i create tis up bcoz i dun wan to help??
if i dun wan to help,
i wont cum on9...
so free go and create??
never trust me...
never believe my words...
is ok...
i know im untrustworthy...
and im always untrustworthy...
even my dad still say dat im a liar...
y??
i promised my dad to study and not cum on9 tis much on tis year...
but i never do dat...
i promised my dad i will go to sleep b4 12am...
never make it...
my words started to become bullshit for him...
even my dad still dun trust me...
wat bout u???
im sad dat i get da word "heartless" again from u...
everytime ...
things bout her...
u will scold me wit dat word...
wat u told me on those days??
u said dat u will never be like tis again...
but i shud know dat...
i shud know...
i shudnt be blaming anyone...
alto tis time is very diff from those times...
it last quite long...
but...is juz a dream...
after all...i still nid to wake from my dream...
to face da fact....
but y???
y do u made me fall deeper and deeper??
by giving me hopes???
alto u din say anything...
but da way u behave wit me...
is reli...
hard to make me not to tink...
learnt a lesson...
a very gud lesson...
put tis in my heart...
never ever believe in those f**king bullshits "dreams" anymore...
u r too smart to know dat...
i will be ... lost ... whenever i c ur tears...
when i dun wan to help u...
u invited me video call...
after seeing u like tis...
do u tink dat i still bear to not help??
even got scold or wat i will still try my best to help...
and i called...called and called...
no...dun hav...
dun wish to continue all tis craps anymore...
i know is boring...
is past...
den juz let it be...
da conclusion is...
heart broken...
unhappy...
sad....
at here...
i wan to thanks to Mun Mun and oso Xiao Lao Hu...
thank you very much...
for accompany me at dat time...
if not sure i already fallen apart...
and oso thanks to Xiao Lao Hu alot...
thanks for acc me until i fall asleep...
if not sure my eyes swell again on da next day...
arigato~~~~~~
there r only one thing i rmb...
and tis had washed away all my memory on today..
i reli cant rmb wat happened at skool...
wat happened at home...
and all...
all i rmb...
is...
u broke my heart...
tis afternoon...
when i got bak home from skool...
cum on9...
excited to c dat finally u came on9...
but...
is quite heart breaking to read ur pm...
and oso to read ur words...
and at last...
still da same...
nth changed...
u still so care of her...
dun u??
on da previous days...
i was so happy...
u gave me hopes...
but wat???
everytime u r like tis...
gave me hopes...
and disappoint me at last...
another feeling of throwing me down from 100th floor to da ground...
normal...
after nap den rest...
after dat exercise...
shower...
hav my dinner...
dun feel like coming on9...
afraid...
afraid to know more...
afraid to c da truth...
but still...
be brave...
im not a coward...
and i came on9...
a person dat u dun reli wish her to cum already came on9...
and ur words shows dat too...
and again start talking bout her...
how much u worry...
how sad u r...
until couldnt eat...
couldnt sleep...
kept crying...
u tried so hard to contact her...
so nervous...
asked me where is da custom...
asked me to help u call all da hospitals...
all...
johor...
all.....
is not dat i dun wan to help...
and oso not da matter of money...
y dun u uds???
thing is not as easy as u said...
as u know...my dad is not an easy person...
yea...u do know...
but when ur heart goes to her...
u will never tink for me...
be like never know bout my things...
and i always tink dat u r da one who uds me da most...
so now...
i nid to explain...
i am not like wat u said...
i am not heartless...
i always wanted to help...
as u know...
tis is not da first time i helped too...
i reli... 无能为力...
u asked me to tell him da truth...
if he knew im like tis...
become like tis...
is all bcoz of u...
wat u tink he will do???
sure dun let me to connect to da internet anymore...
is not cut off wit u...
he knows nth bout computer...
he is not dat stupid even he knows nth bout computer...
da smartest way...
throw away my modem...
tis is wat he always tell me...
if i dun listen to his words...
he will not let me on9...
but y...
y u say dat i create tis up bcoz i dun wan to help??
if i dun wan to help,
i wont cum on9...
so free go and create??
never trust me...
never believe my words...
is ok...
i know im untrustworthy...
and im always untrustworthy...
even my dad still say dat im a liar...
y??
i promised my dad to study and not cum on9 tis much on tis year...
but i never do dat...
i promised my dad i will go to sleep b4 12am...
never make it...
my words started to become bullshit for him...
even my dad still dun trust me...
wat bout u???
im sad dat i get da word "heartless" again from u...
everytime ...
things bout her...
u will scold me wit dat word...
wat u told me on those days??
u said dat u will never be like tis again...
but i shud know dat...
i shud know...
i shudnt be blaming anyone...
alto tis time is very diff from those times...
it last quite long...
but...is juz a dream...
after all...i still nid to wake from my dream...
to face da fact....
but y???
y do u made me fall deeper and deeper??
by giving me hopes???
alto u din say anything...
but da way u behave wit me...
is reli...
hard to make me not to tink...
learnt a lesson...
a very gud lesson...
put tis in my heart...
never ever believe in those f**king bullshits "dreams" anymore...
u r too smart to know dat...
i will be ... lost ... whenever i c ur tears...
when i dun wan to help u...
u invited me video call...
after seeing u like tis...
do u tink dat i still bear to not help??
even got scold or wat i will still try my best to help...
and i called...called and called...
no...dun hav...
dun wish to continue all tis craps anymore...
i know is boring...
is past...
den juz let it be...
da conclusion is...
heart broken...
unhappy...
sad....
at here...
i wan to thanks to Mun Mun and oso Xiao Lao Hu...
thank you very much...
for accompany me at dat time...
if not sure i already fallen apart...
and oso thanks to Xiao Lao Hu alot...
thanks for acc me until i fall asleep...
if not sure my eyes swell again on da next day...
arigato~~~~~~
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