Merry Xmas!!!!

first of all...
MERRY XMAS!!!
WEEEEEEEEe...
i get angpau for my xmas gift -__-||
in da socks...
LOL!!!
funny rite??
reli is a angpau leh -__-||
got money of coz...
RM60 nia..
happy...
mama say she giv one -__-||
yea lor sure is like dat...
papa every year only giv RM10 or RM20...
kiam siap -__-|||

den went out for breakfast...
after reach home keep doing fashion show for my mami c -__-||
keep trying on those old clothes hahahahahahahaha...
sampat de lar -___-||

hmmmmm while my darling in da class...
she on9...
saw my display picture on msn...
da one i holding my bao bei lol..
she "zhong for" liao...
at there sarcastic -___-|||
alamak so many ppl jealous wit me today...
wan die....-___-|||
again her vein sot jor -___-||
tell me dat she wanna c me...
at first i tot she said wanna c me in hs5...
den she said "aishhh who wanna c da fake one lar..i wan to c in reality"
-___-||
wan me show her on cam pulak..
den i said "wahhh later every one in da class saw me "
wahahahahha XD
den i bcum famous liao XD

chat chat chat...
still ok de...
sms sms...
still ok de...
sudenly...
haizzzz duno i shud happy or sad nia -__-||
LOL!! stupid ar still happy???
-___-||
heart got break boh???
break half liao lor..
but still not dat serious lar...
hahahahahaha..
duno how shud i react in da sms...
if i mind...
den it shows like...
im not understanding...
if i dun mind...
it shows like...
i dun care " "....
-____-|||
haizzz...
i tot i wont feel any sadness...
but duno y...
suddenly...
felt numb...
duno how shud i reply....
tears....
not flowing out...
but warning me dat...
it is going to flow out...
outside is raining suddenly...
i tot is a gud weather for today...
as " " said.....
after awhile....
da conversation between us...
ends....
is dat i reli mind bout dat???
is dat i reli so care " " ???
i care " " ????
do i???
i duno too...
mayb???
or is bcoz of myself???
only i felt sad???
or is bcoz of " " ???
lol my bao bei's sixth sense reli gud -_-||
once i "haiz"
den she asked "y u so sad???"
lol i was like O___O omg how she knows???
did i do it so obvious????
but...
i dun wish to tell anyone ...
but...
reli felt so hard....
cant tell anyone...
no matter wat happened....
hav to hide...
for tis coming half year???
haizzzz...
juz bcoz of "disgrace" and im so afraid???
y????
im reli afraid of "disgrace"...
reli.....
i shud save face...????
im still confuse wit my own feeling....
is i care bcoz of wat " " told me???
or is bcoz i tink dat y am i so pitiful??
is which feeling??
or it comes together at the same time???
i duno...
reli duno....
but i know...
i cant blame " " for dat....
and shudnt...
bcoz...
i experienced dat b4...
and i shud know how " " feels....
i shud be understanding....
shud help " " to recover too....
and oso bcoz...
there r still a person....
i hav been...
waiting for...
so long.......
a year??
yea.....
more than a year....