just a post to express the thing that hides deep inside my heart...

hello blog~~
i found myself back here again when i didn't know where can i express what is really in my mind without disguising or twisting my words to make it sounds nice...
so tiring...

and it never ends...
always about sungmin... about kyuhyun...

so... 2 days ago...
well... i don't know why am i acting that way though...
but i feel hurt when i see my friend sway from ming to kyu...
no, not only my friend, all the fans who did that... i feel hurt...
i think i wont be so disappointed or hurt if she start liking kyu ever since she knows sjm...
but really, i couldn't accept when people sway from ming to kyu...
just why?? is that keep happening?? is like, nearly half of the ming bias i knew sway from ming to kyu and i'm so sick of it...
to be honest, what so great about kyu??
of course i know he can sing, and his voice is attractive...
and yea, just that i see, nothing more, nothing less...
is hilarious to ask them why they sway...
"oh~~ his voice is so nice~~ i've fallen in love with his voice"
when ming is trying so hard there to make himself multi-talented, i felt like telling him just give up because people dont care...even his fans sway for the "only one talent" member...
even how hard you practise the choreography, still, you will only stay at the back or the side to dance... even you're the 4th best dancer in suju...
no one give a damn about how hardworking you are, ming, because you always under-rates yourself... no, you're being overly kind that you give all your parts to the other members, you dont care about yourself, and do you expect your fans to care about you when you yourself dont?? no!!!
that's why i'm not really blaming when people sway... to be honest, i'm not pissed too... i just feel disappointed and hurt... how can they be like that???
again, to be honest, yea... i'm simply jealous... and selfish... i know and i admit it...

and now, what??!!
i dont even have freedom on voicing out my feelings??
like? seriously??
dont think that you're the only on holding back, WE ARE HOLDING BACK AS WELL!
especially me!
everytime when i tweet smth, i'll make sure to twist it and twist it and try my best to make it not obvious.... cant you just ignore what you read???
can i tweet what i feel because of feeling sad that my friend actually swayed???
why are you so over-protective??? towards other members!
when i never see you being protective over ming? did you??
you said we hold onto grudges, and always rant about kyu and you're sick of it...
and so do i ! i'm sick of myself ranting kyu too because i'm so tired on ranting him, and that tweet of mine on yesterday, i swear i'm not ranting about kyu, i just said i was speechless if people like to think that a voice is better than 100 talents... I JUST SAID THAT!
come to think of it , i'm actually complimenting kyu indirectly ! saying that he use only his voice but can attract so many fans...

and i think we're ranting very very carefully, not to hurt you...
have you see tumblr of kpop secret?? have you read the two posts saying that ming's voice is nothing?? did you see they compare hae with ming and say hae is much more better than ming?? i bet you will just keep quiet even you see it... and see! they even rant it like OPENLY with pictures and words and all insulting ming in TUMBLR!
and even wish him to enlist earlier !
the other one is more ridiculous saying that ming got too much lines like they're deaf or blind that you see ming singing a lot???
and what they say are not NEAR THE FACT AT ALL!!
they say hae's voice is better than ming and HELLO have they ever hear hae singing live?? he sings like shit and i can assure you that hae cant sing live for God's sake even though he has good voice... and the fact is there, ming is main vocal yet they said smth like that...
what did we do?? no! we didn't do anything, we speak what we see and what we hear...
we are just TELLING THE FACT!! is not like we're bringing something false and insult kyu!
is true that he can only sing, isn't it??? tell me he can dance?? tell me he can rap?? LMAO
is true that he's rude to his hyung, and evil too, isn't it??? did you see how he smack hyuk's head and kick hyuk??? and teuki too???
and is true that he sing most of the line, didnt he??? almost the whole perfection that he's singing
and it is very true that he can't dance for God's sake yet he's fucking swaying his limbs awkwardly during the dance break part...
and the dance segment in SS2, they cancel ming out and make kyu in LMAO!!!! WTH??!!
SM The Ballad??? Musical??? why isn't yesung and wookie in it??? ok, cut yesung, since he had musical before... but what about wookie?? isn't it hilarious to know that the main vocal of suju JUST STARTED SOME NEW ACTIVITY THIS YEAR??

and one thing i dont know if you know, when kyu just join suju, ming gave his parts and lines to kyu, and see what happen on being too kind....just like what i said above, nearly half the ming bias i knew sway from kyu to ming... LOL
that's the main point... i actually dont hate kyu, i just feel sad that the fans never see ming...
and when ming is being kind to give his part to kyu, at the same time, he's giving his fans to kyu as well...
and the time when i started hating kyu is the time when i see he's rude and all...
don't believe me? go to M-INvasion and dig the old comments that i ever leave...


i just don't understand why are you being so over-protective with the other members and not ming when your bias is actually ming...
that just make me doubt about you... doubt if ming is really your bias...

do you think we really love ranting???
no, we dont... i really hate it when i waste most of my time pissing off on some people...
but we're doing it because we love ming...
and you should know it that we're not ELF, we couldn't bring ourselves to love all the members...
loving ming doesn't mean we need to love those who are close with him or he loves too...
as you say, personal preferences... and then why are you over-reacting when we dont like other members???
why dont you like SNSD too?? ming is close with SNSD but why dont you like them??
why dont you like 2PM??? ming is close to them too!!
i ship minwook, why dont you ship minwook as well???
that's how we feel when you ask why cant we like all the members or when you ask why dont we ship kyumin...
we're not so great that we can accept the false or acted like we're blind/deaf not to see the truth...
also is not like we're ranting for no reason...
why some people can mix with the whole class but some couldn't???
why cant you understand us ???
why do you want to start some drama when i'm trying so hard to avoid it???
you know we love you, you knew it!
we can always say smth nasty but we didnt, just for you... only for you that we're doing it...
i can always say smth really nasty to you, about them, if i wanted to...

i really hope you can be considerate and understand us...
as we told you earlier, we're not ELF, we cant bring ourselves to like all the members...