again...im so 犯贱?? + is there anyone for me??

went for chinese class today...
urghhh...
dont know go for what...
my soul is at home while the body is at school...
which means i learn nothing today in the class LOL!!!

then Choi told us that she sms and ask Ray why Ray lied to her...
urghh...
the process...of course im not going to reveal here -__-||
crazy ar > <
later the whole world also know...
but then that Ray really...
aishhh...
is her fault but still blame Choi > <
what the..
but im kinda...
hmmm how to tell the feeling??
unsatisfied??
with Choi's last words...
"i spent 3 months to chase Ray!!!and is my very first time chasing a person!!" -___-|||
immediately i said "3 months only and you are like that...how about me??one for a year and 7 months, another one for half year, and otherssss for monthsssss, but never get any???hmmm?"
"you are different from me what..."
"what so different?because i love to get hurt by others?love to be sluts?huh???"
and she just remain silent...
-____-|||

just 3 months already like that...
i mean said like she is so pitiful...
how about me???
im not pitiful then??
ohhhhh~~~ i know....
because i am 犯贱 what...
i guess she still dont know what "love" is...
or maybe i should say she never face any hardship on love??
she's so fortunate that everytime people come to her...
that she dont need to waste any effort on getting love by others...
while me?
so unfortunate LOL
no matter how much effort i gave,
i get nothing, but hurts and pains...
never been in any relationship...
never feel that being love or like...
i never ask for anything...
but just simply...
anyone...
is there anyone for me???
even for me to love and take care of also none??
how "lucky" i am?
for the recent case...
2 human being...
who saw my "effort" on them...
dont bear to speak out any words that will hurt my feelings although they dont have any feelings towards me...
but at last still.....
but i still cherish that they didnt let out any words which will hurt me directly although they dont feel the same way as i do....
they are guilty...
aren't they?
haizzzz...
haizzzzzzzzzz...
haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
when???
when will this end???
until the day i die...maybe....and it still never ends...