reply of ur post...

yea...
care...
care i know u care...
i always know dat u care...
dat is y u reading my blog...
but...
da caring dat i wan from u...
is not like dat...
if u scold all dat can make me wake...
i dun mind getting scold by u...
but u shud know...
even how much u scold me...
im still da same...
still loving....
still like tis...
i know u all care...
but y...
da caring dat i wan...
is not like dat??
or im expecting too much from u all??
if is lik dat...
im sorry...
is my bad...
being greedy...
wanting more and more...
is my bad not letting u all to know my things...
is my bad...
minding how others look at me and all...
da sentence dat u gave me on yesterday...
from 学海...
i knew u care...
i juz...
haizzz...
ignore me...
and now ...
finally...
wat SF said on dat day...
reli "comes true" adi...
LOL...
im frustrated...
im sad...
im emo...
im unhappy...
everything...
is too much thing for me to be sad and frustrate wit...
im tired...
reli tired...
when will it ends??
is dat it will only ends when my life ends???
if like dat...
juz end my life...
easy...
and i reli thanks for ur caring...
on my boring life...
for so many years...
i appreciate it alot...
i knew u care me...
and u shud know dat i care u too...
i luv u all...

[ 看我不顺眼???一整天被骂的日子 ---> Wednesday, 15th April 2009 ]

raining tis morning...
Choi din cum to skool again...
after bak from being isolated (ERT)
i started to be emo...
got scold -___-||
not reli scold...
is smth like...
duno how to describe...

i reli wondering...
im not talking bout my eyebag...
and y do u relate urs to mine???
and how u so sure dat i sleep at 12am is bcoz of dat???
u watching me for da whole nite??
sometimes is late bcoz of dat but sometimes is not...
y must u scold me wit her?
and oso y do u scold only me???
SF sms until midnite dun wan to sleep...
no one scolds her while she is complaining dat she is sleepy...
i didnt complain...but i got scold...
when she tell her things to others...
never got scold...
when i tell....sure i get scold...
even i din tell...still get scold...
y??bcoz they get to know it from my blog...
is tis fair???no...i dun tink so...
so...
silence is golden...
emo is better...
boh bian...
i sui yong+yong sui...
别人看我不顺眼...
tis reminds me of monday...
u say dat u r asking me??
wat makes u hav such question??
is bcoz u tink dat i am like dat...
datz y u r asking me dat...
"你不觉得你自己很犯贱吗？"
a very gud question...
y i am not answering u??
bcoz foreva u wont uds wat im telling u...
u never feel it...
never be in dat situation b4...
and so sorry to say tis...
never hav ur true luv..
犯贱?? do u tink dat i wanted to be??
if i could move on...
i already did it...
and u know wat...
i didnt choose to luv...
when it comes..
it is like dat...
wat can i do??
is human nature...
n y r u using tis two words "犯贱" to insult me, ur bestie??
y??? other ppl r doing da same thing like me...
n y theirs is called as sacrifices, true loves, great, nice, kind...
but im being called by u as 犯贱??
n being call by SF as 大白痴,大笨蛋....
u all dun reli know wat am i...
not only duno...
and oso dun wish to know...
and kept judging everything by ur own...
it is not fair...
wat is da thing dat makes me couldnt let go???
tell u frankly...
is da things dat i couldnt get from u all...
wat is dat???
is a feeling dat u cant describe wit words...
n u will only know wat is it when u get to know da whole complete story between us...
我犯贱??但...能選擇要不要喜歡上一個人或愛上一個人嗎？

after tuition den go aunty Poo See's house...
meeting there (chant and chat)
after dat balik rumah lar of coz...
my darling din cum on9 again...

den tis dadi...
drunk adi again cum and scold me...
-___-|||
nth find thing scold...
lazy to fight wit him...
da more i say da more he scold...
so...still da same...
silence is golden...
unreasonable...
reli Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
beh song....

tired....
at skool not teacher 搞针对, kept scolding me...
den is my fren scold me...
go tuition den tuition teacher again 搞针对...
bak home my parent's turn to 搞骂爽... (more is dadi)
mama only scold if she very tired...so dat one is 搞出气 -___-|||
got scold... whenever...wherever...

a title from one of da email dat i received...
「能選擇要不要喜歡上一個人或愛上一個人嗎？喜歡上了，愛上了，就是了。」

Tuesday, 14th April 2009

toady ar?
nth special lor...
dat day din go Anugerah Cemerlang...
today Pei Yee go find Pn Goh to get our certs and trophies...

here it goes ^^




tis one is akaun de >>>>



den tis is i get second place in da class de >>>>



today...
wat to say...
is...
tired...
very tired and sleepy...
and oso having headache...
after balik from tuition den lay on da sofa like dead corpse liao...
fall asleep somemore when watching news > <

Monday, 13rd April 2009

wake up early in da morning..
mong cha cha...
dun wan to wake up...
wanted to sleep more eh...
got shocked by her msg...
is so...sudden...
which is reli.... shocking -___-|||
macam ini...
from -___- become O_____O
immediately 精神 ....
is reli...
aishhhhh...
duno y suddenly i "suk sa" -___-||
so scare pulak...
kept being goosebump...
wondering y > <
aishhhhhhhhh....
scare wat scare lar???!!
reli useless de...
lil thing oso wan to be tis scare -___-|||

today my turn to be emo liao...
at skool...
kept tinking tinking and tinking..
and tis Jing....
reli...
i reli duno wat shud i say...
kept scolding me de -___-||
not reli scold lar...
is smth like...
say??
is not say lar...
is more like forcing and after dat she will be very syok to c im speechless -___-||
go to library...
more cham...
dat Jing and SF gang up and 审问 > <
more like "bek gong" > <
wat???
they asked me y i dun let them to care me (y i dun wan to tell them my things)
and i reli dun uds wat r they actually tinking de lor...
b4 tis...
i was so "willing" to tell lar...
kept wanted to tell my things...
but no one wants to listen...
so fine...
i oso dun wan to be dat thicked skin to wan or force others to listen to my story....
dat is y i always blog-ing...
to express my feeling here ...
and oso to tell my blog since no one wanted to listen...
(if is bout other things like frens, studies, parents, lifes and all den my darling will be my listener as always)
and oso learn to be not dat thicked skin lar...
learn to hide everything and not keep pulling ppl and force them to listen...
bcoz i know is very suffer+torture to listen to my boring stories...
tried so hard...
and finally i succeed in hiding my feelings...
but to tell my blog..
den wat happened to them??
say i dun wan to tell them my things to let them care pulak...
alamak...
reading my blog is one of da way to know bout my things...
but u know de lor...
my thing...lai lai qu qu oso da same...
if u so hate to know bout it...
den wat for to read???
after read den cum and scold me...
den make me so scare to type out my feeling and all at here liao...
nid to hide tis hide dat even writing diary...
write dao so 辛苦 and 委屈 duno write lai zomok...
if continue like tis i will reli move da whole blog away... -____-|||

reasons dat i wanted to hide...
tell u all...u all r like dun wish to listen...
even listen oso like so 委屈...
i c u all so 辛苦 den dun wan to torture u all de ear by telling my things lor...
if not leh??
tell liao den kena marah...
already enuff hurt lor...
still cum scold me -___-||
comfort me yi xia will die ar...
den u tink i will so dak han to tell my things out and let u all scold or sarcastic me anot??
no rite??
not scold me den say i stupid tis and dat... -___-||
dun even know wats going on...
ok... den fine...
keep quiet...
dun wan to tell liao...
den wat??when i dun wan to tell den kept wanted to dig my things out...
tried so hard to dig tim~~
put so much effort on digging my things out rite??
-____-|||
den after digging out wat i get??
get scold lar of coz...
so easy oso duno...
until i nid to consider and check everytime b4 i publish my post...
do u know dat i stop writing diary??
and now im taking my blog as my diary...
and is of coz writing wat i feel like wan to write in MY DIARY...
and is not writing wat u wan to read -___-|||
if so suffer i better continue wit my old way...
write diary wit hands..
or else den move da whole blog...

i know u care me...
ermmm obviously da "U" is referring to our Jing...
bcoz only she so free hor cum and 8 my boring stories hahahahaha
but so sad...
da one who cares me is da one who will scold me like hell on da next day at skool -___-|||
but if is related wit "other ppl" den i will tell geh...
but da prob is...
my things is more bout "dat" -___-||
so wat u wan me to do har??
den i tink my dat phillipine fren bu chuo lor...
she never reply me anything harsh...
but giving advice and comforting me...
mayb bcoz she has da same situation as me..
and she knows very well dat how i feel...
she is always a gud listener....
and who i nid?wat i nid?
is a listener...
juz dat...
and oso wish to be u all de listener...

after reading tis post dun cum and scold me tomoro at skool -___-||
but u wan scold i oso cant help it -___-||
phobia uiii~~

while walking bak home...
jing tell me de thing...
is diff situation...
well i juz can say dat is hard for u to say anything on it if u wanted to say dat is my fault in disturbing their life...
our relationship is not as easy as u tink...
is smth reli complicated...
u will only know wat we r if u read our conversation since da day we know each other...
and i dun reli agree wit wat u said...
bcoz we r like tis since da beginning...
and suddenly wan us to change??
is hard for us...
and is reli very long in complaining bout tis lar -___-|||
luckily i only type it on "today" (tuesday)
if not it will be more longer -__-||
bcoz i cant reli rmb some of ur words...


reach home den hav a talk wit my darling bout wat happened at skool...
had a lil argument bout dat...
not reli argument lar...
juz......discuss > <
den after dat she translate+romanize a thai song for me...
and is reli funny dat juz da title suits her....
and da whole lyric is actually suits me more > <
choose wrong song hahahahaha
den at nite...
aishhh duno wat da hell is wrong wit me...
kept being hot -___-|||
last time oso seldom hot like tis...
sei lor...
my turn to be so jealousy liao > <
aishhhh...
but quite fun oso > <
bcoz change reli fast hahahaha
awhile moody awhile shy > <
if not den kept talking smth weird -___-||
**slap myself**
sampat sia .... -___-||
and tis gal...
wanted to play song for me to listen...
den i was tinking she is playing da song for herself or wat -___-||
kept repeating da front part...
dun let me to listen da whole song...
and tell me dat she likes da front part -____-||||
let her gek sei...
scare scare scare oso let her make dao not scare liao... -___-|||
cum and "chi gek" me > <

Sunday, 12th April 2009

went to Pappa Rich at Taipan for....
is actually breakfast...
but bcoz tis mami hor...
kept facial facial until forget bout us -___-|||
so become our lunch liao...
1pm+++ only go...
first time...
bu chuo oh da environment...
but when da bill cum more bu chuo -___-|||
damn expensive...
but still acceptable lar...

at nite den went out for dinner...
at PJ de Ming Yang Cuisine...
fuiyoooo sooo luxury > <
den reli gek sei me -___-||
ppl wear dress ...
so 斯文...
but hor tis dadi ask me to carry da box of wine -__-|||
(very heavy yi xia de )
den carry dao so rude > <
不雅观~~
somemore very 不方便...
i will never wear dat again on next time -___-|||
wear jeans is better...
den at there so sien...
上菜上到 very slow yi xia...
bout 10.50pm like dat only ends...

den 11.30pm++ like dat only reach home...
today very guai...
din drink wine/whiskey ^^
if not later will got scold de lar > <
den i fa xian dao not much diff -___-|||
din drink oso got scold one > <
den nyek nyek nyek...
someone had fall into my trap oh~~~
happy happy XD ^o^
i know im mean...XD sorry na~~ ** pure **

Saturday, 11st April 2009

today i shud go skool de...
bcoz Anugerah Cemerlang...
actuall dun wan to go de...
bcoz hor pei yee din go...
no ppl teman me T____T
but my mama wan go there "wai sui" yi xia oh~~
so she force me to go -__-||
from last nite kept nag nag nag nag ask me go...
but hor...
i sleep so late on last nite...
so today tak boleh wake up...
den she cum in my room and wake me up -___-||
i tell her i dun wan go, i wan sleep..
den she kept nag nag nag...
ngam ngam ngam > <
aiyooo~~~
den i sleep bak lor...
mana tau tis mami -__-||
duno purposely or wat....
on da radio until so loudddddd...
wake me up...
canot continue to sleep T____T
den once i get out from my room...
**brrooom brooom**
my mami again nagging me liao -__-||
kept scolding me say i can go up da stage oso dun wan...
-___-|| den stop for awhile...
when my papa cum bak she again complain to my papa > <
kept scolding me "dat sui lui bao~~mou guai yong geh~~"
-____-|||
yam gong~~ T_____T

aiiiii so sien...
nth to do...
duno y macam very empty....
lazy to do hw...
but facing da computer oso nth to do -___-||

and tis darling...
from last nite never go to sleep...
gek si wa...
until 2pm++++ still here -___-|||
until i went to cut hair cum bak still here...
still dun wan sleep...
-___-|||
den bcoz thundering...
so i terpaksa off my com...
den nth to do mar...
went and take a short nap...
wake at 6.30pm+++
ya allah~~~
still haven sleep yet -___-|||
8pm only sleep...
reli gou li...

at nite after dinner den do akaun latihan (E.T. punya)
do dao 9.30++pm like dat stop...
take a break...
lol not "a" break lar...
my break take da whole nite...
kept watching concertssss
BoA's...
TVXQ's....
den go to sleep...

Friday, 10th April 2009

so scare Pei Yee din cum to skool -__-||
bcoz 3 of them din cum...
7.30 am liao still haven enter class...
tot she din cum liao de...
so i "zhap ye" wan go dewan (rehearsal of Anugerah Cemerlang)
den met her at staircase...
wahhhhh she "zhong for" > <
i said "wahhh now only u cum??!!"
den she shouted "不要跟我讲话！我一肚子火"
-___-||| wahhhh seldom c pei yee 发火....
Choi's fault lor~~~
made her wait for so long at da skool gate there...
she die lu tis time~~~
den go dewan wit Pei Yee...
aikssss so sien...
during masa akaun...
Pei Yee told Pn. Wan dat we wan hantar folio "SEKEJAP"~~~
we went to bilik guru find Pn Azni to hand in our folio...
den teacher ask us to help her staple da papers~~~
so we helped lor...
den our "SEKEJAP" became "LAMA" liao > <
den Pei Yee very worry bcoz she left her purse in da class on her table...
den i tot is ok since da class got so many ppl moreover Pn. Wan is over there...
after finish we returned to da class...
den teacher said "wahhh where both of u went??? so longggggg"
den Pei Yee tell teacher dat we help Pn Azni do smth...
den teacher said "wahh??go do kebajikan ar??kerja amal??"
> <>
oso got kerja amal...
den Pei Yee say "aiyaaa juz now we shud ask teacher to take photo for us "
-___-|| za dao...
den suddenly Pei Yee said "SHIT!!"
her RM20 hilang liao > <
kena curi tim~~~
so unlucky of her on today...

tis darling -__-||
again "once sleep never wake" > <
so late only wake up...
chat till 2am+++ 3am like dat....
was bout to sleep...
but after connected mic -___-||
continue lagi...
reli happy ar...
lovely conversation XD
kept smiling there > <
aishhhhh....
somemore so disgracing lar....
is fan but i said rice cooker -___-||
made me laugh so loud > <
until 4am++++ only ends....

end bcoz of wat??
aishhhh bcoz of dat jean -___-||
bcoz my darling appear off9...
so she tink dat my darling blocked her...
cum and scold me pulak -___-||
i oso haven scold her dun let my darling sleep leh -___-||
said like she so care har...
but actually care herself more than anyone else....
den after dat she so scary -____-|||
kept typin "i hate u" in my conversation...
(actually is juz keep pasting by pressing ctrl+v...caught her~~~)
reli like those got mental prob de ppl leh...
scary sia~~~
kept pasting "i hate u" non stop..
reli never stop i tell u -____-||
luckily my status is "bzy" -___-||
if not my msn sure already ruined by her ...
dat lunatic -___-||
7 sin de lar her -___-|||
(i will send u da history if u wan to c how insane she is)

Thursday, 9th April 2009

wat happened on today at skool???
ben lai wan tell de...
but hor...
after i read jing's blog....
den i very lazy to re-type...
so hor...
pls refer to Jing's blog XD

link link link~~~~ :
http://noel517.blogspot.com/2009/04/blog-post_09.html

wakakakaka XD
so fang bian~~
nyek nyek nyek XD
later Jing sure cum and complain me again > <
last time Run For Peace i oso lazy to write and say "pls refer to Jing's blog"
den da next day she cum tell me she kena za dao XD
aiyooooooo **pure look** i lazy marrr~~~~
hehehehehe
and hor tis Jing...
never ends -___-|||
aikkksssss suan liao...
keep fight like dat oso cant help anything...
juz let it be den...
later 伤感情 den no gud lor~~~

accompany Choi to my mami's salon to cut hair lu~~~
dat gal -___-||
cut until she fall asleep tim~~~
my mama at there cut she at there sleep -___-||
den i said "later my mama cut wrong jor den u know XD"
den she said she is tired and start repeating da story of "11.59p.m. and 12.00 a.m." > <
she must sleep b4 12 if not she will felt very tired on da next day...
ok...weirdo...
den after dat go KFC eat lor...
den balik rumah...
i take my nap she on her line...
aishhh i didnt get to sleep oso..
juz sleep awhile den my house phone rang...
wake me up...
Choi helped me to pick pulak > <
den more 20+++ mins like dat,
she cum and wake me up liao...
bcoz wan balik adi...
den aiyoyooooo
so chang qi...
bcoz i was like blur blur mar...
den she said "oiii 睡醒了没有？？唉~~~"
den i din answer her...
den she tell me dat my relative from Bentong call to my house juz now...
wan to find my mama...
and ask me rmb to tell my mum dat got ppl find her...
den i "hmmmm"
den she again repeat "oiiii rmb to tell ur mama arr"
den i hmmmmmm~~~
"u dun hmmm hmmm hmmm leh!!! rmb to tell ar!!!"
den i hmmmm~~~
den after lock da door,
she go out from da house...
at outside gate liao still wan to shout "RMB TO TELL UR MAMA ARRR~~~!!!"
den i was like -_____-||| tis gal so chang qi > <

den at nite...
tis jing... -___-||
call me and asked me whether i got go to skool tomoro anot...
den i got go mar...
she dun wan go lagi -___-|||
said wat...bcoz she cant live without SF...
alamak~~~ **faint**
1 dun wan go den 2 dun wan go... -___-|||
den ask her got go chinese class anot...
she said bcoz Kai Xin din go so she dun wan go...
alamak -___-||
den i mar say lor "她没有去关你屁事啊？！ "
den she so many alasan de lar -___-||
beh tahan...
let her say dao like dat i oso got a feeling dun wan to go skool > <
aishhhhhh...
bad bad badddddd influence -___-|||
but sure im going bcoz Pei Yee's folio is wit me > <
terpaksa~~
if not i reli sama sama dun wan go liao~~ XD

today my darling finally came on9 liao...
from our conversation...
i tink dat da condition is quite well...
不错 不错~~总算没有白费心机~~
chat chat chat chat chat dao dun nid do akaun latihan liao -___-|||
chat till 1am+++++ > <

aishhhh dat stupid jean again sot plug -__-|||
i tink she is going to has mental prob soon~~

my mood goes up and down tonite...
is all bcoz of ur words and oso da things dat happened on me...
but at last,
i still go happily...
thanks a lot for spending time chatting wit me...
which makes me reli happy...
especially ur words and reaction...
feel comfortable to read...
and oso feel nice to c...

u r always da key...
and i am always da lock...
u r da one and only person...
and yea...
only u...
only u who r able to lock / unlock my heart...

u will never know how great is ur power in affecting me...
no matter how many times i tell...
u still dun believe dat u r reli important for me...
u r eveything...
my everything...
is ok dat i lost everything,
as long as u r by my side...
still there for me...
and im so glad dat u r there for me...

i treasure and appreciate u, ur luv, ur caring, ur goods...
and everything of u...
u r da one who always besides me no matter wat happened...
u r da one who always comfort me...
u r da one who always listen to all my boring life's stories...
and never ever complain to do so...

dun tink dat u din giv me much...
bcoz on my opinion...
as an ordinary net buddy...
u already gave me a lot...
thank you so much...
and dun tink dat u dun deserve things from me...
dun reject if i treat u gud...
and dun ever tink dat is not worth for me to do so...

wat u worrying for tis 1+++ year...
is actually not a prob...
and oso not da truth...
is juz dat u tink too much...
i reli never mind bout ur appearance...
i luv ur personality b4 ur appearance...

dun worry...
no matter wat will happen...
we will still continue to be like tis...
now and foreva...
never change and never ends...

u r always my 3 in 1...
and my one and only...
for "tis much" of luv...
i will only giv it to u...
and is already given to u...

i luv only u...
and only u i would luv tis much in my entire life...

Wednesday, 8th April 2009

went to dewan today for rehearsal...
of Anugerah Cemerlang...
siensss~~~
today Choi din cum to skool again -___-||
"stomachache" ohhh~~~

today din talk much wit Jing ...
-___-|| bcoz of yesterday de case...
aikssss > <

“ 怎么办~~~~
为什么我们怎样说，
你都不明白我们的用意？？
我们是真的关心你阿。。。
有可能你觉得我们很多事，
可是我们不想眼睁睁看着你的前途被毁阿。。。
你是可以读书的。。。
你可以的。。。
相信你自己的实力。。。
自己亲手创造奇迹。。。
我们帮不了你很多也帮不上什么，
可是我们会给于你支持的。。。
gambateh!!!! Noel 577 !!! Go Go Go~~~!!! ”


den at tuition...
me, SF and Choi so green...
da whole baris at front there XD
bcoz we wear "Run For Peace" de T-shirt XD
wakakakaka...
den they say we very "wei" -___-|||
bcoz da whole line oso "cheng bi bi" > <
den i told Choi dat dat day SF said our Meeia fat...
aishhhh..
den they two at there fight...
-___-|||
dat SF hor...
Meeia where got fat jek???!!
ppl slim a lot liao de lorrr~~~
now consider as meaty only lorrrr
not fat...
if she say Meeia fat hor..
den wat am i???
-____-|||
she hurts my feeling INDIRECTLY -___-|||
when she started to be like dat???
or turned to be like dat??
never tink b4 letting her words out...

“ u might not tink bout it...
and juz say anything as u like...
and u might tink dat is ok...
since u r talking bout other ppl and is not me...
alto is not talking bout me...
but i will still felt it...
u will never know when ur words hurts ppl's feeling...
bcoz they will not tell u directly like dat "hey! dun say like dat...ur words will hurt me"
da one who listening to it is not u...
and u juz simply letting ur words out which ONLY u who tink dat is ok...
and juz forget bout it after u said...
who will be affected??
da one who r listening to it...
and da words goes to our mind...
and went to da heart...
which makes us mind it so much...
ok...end tis...
if continue duno when will i finish my story...”

went for meeting today...
wit my Run For Peace de T shirt...
"pei he" yi xia...
mama do drama...
aishhhh missed liao da front part..
only reached there when it almost end...
quite funny XD
bcoz my mama do dao natural marr hehehehe...
den Shiew Yenn jie jie tell her experience...
bout her health de ( da bakbone got prob and is quite serious)
den tell dao half at there cry...
> <>
sad sia...
say dao so serious...
like going to die liao.... > <

at tis time i started to tink of my darling...
“ haizzz wondering how is ur condition now...
so many days dat u din cum on9....
afraid dat u will be in da hospital again...
aikssss....
worry...real worry...
kept tinking of sending u da medicine for almost da whole day...
tink of wat kind of medicine i shud send u...
how...when...how much will it cost...and all...
u r not young adi lar...
is already an adult...
u shud know to take gud care of urself...
and not letting me to worry bout u like tis ar...
yea...
other ppl can and will take care of u...
but u must listen to them oso ar...
so stubborn...
ask u to sleep early..
dun wan...
dun eat and drink those unhealthy things...
dun wan to listen...
dun dye hair..
still dying more and more -___-|||
reli...
aishhhh vomit blood...
never listen to ppl's words...
or mayb only dun listen to mine?? -___-|||
wan to be stubborn like me adi izzit?? > < ”
haizzz....