Tuesday, 10th March 2009

rushing to memorize my nilai nilai moral...
aiks....
tak boleh masuk oso...
tis time my exam...
cham lor...
my ekonomi de esei part den already tak tau buat...
haizzz -___-||
no eye c...
die den die...

came bak...
saw my darling's off9 msg...
aishhhhhhhhhh wat i guess previously is correct lar...
guess dat she must be doing smth for me...
but im not da thicked skin to tink like dat lar...
last year oso dun rmb my bday...
tis year dun tink she will rmb...
who knows she rmb ...
aishhh tis silly gal -__-||
came and tell me all da things...
den no more surprise liao lorrr
-__-||
tis gal reli...lol > <
haizzz...
at nite chat alil wit her...
asked me to romanized da lyric for her pulak -___-||
somemore telling me wats her planning...
aishhhhhh -___-|||
but i rather to chat wit her than wait to get da surprise....
haizzz reli so long dat i didnt chat wit my darling...

Monday, 9th March 2009

last nite wat the l word...
dat episode too chi gek liao > <
**blushing**
kept laughing and bearing... XD

morning go eat dim sum lor~~~
after dat ar...
after dat i had flu again...
and tis Jing so dak yi one -__-|||
again asking me wan to go her house anot...
i ask her y...
she said bcoz wan me to teach her akaun...
za dao -_____-|||
den went and take a nap lor...
bout evening like tis wake by my koko n Rachel...
-___-|||

7pm we go to "The Ship" to eat steak...
wakakakaka...
not much thing to talk bout....
let da photos to "speak" den...

on da way go The Ship



koko >.<>


got caught by him dat i tengah 偷拍 >.<


The Ship de environment...






tis papa so childish de lar -__-||| wear napkin den ask me take pic for him pulak... > <






the waiter helping my papa wear da napkin... >>>


my dinner set (lamp rack topped) >>>>


my papa de >>>>>


mama de >>>>


koko de grilled lamp chop >>>


my dessert, ice cream cake... yummy~~ XD



came bak home den nonono lor -__-||
couldnt study nicely...
kept tinking of other things....
couldnt concentrate...
den went and read email and forward mail...
found out smth...
my darling's dp is changed....
den i went and check....
uiiiiiiiiii knew dat she came on9 last nite....
wat the???
wat i done again??
is dat my darling angry wit me???
so scare...
kept sms her....
asked her to cum...
but she didnt -__-||
aishhhhhhhhhhh....
reli worry....and afraid....
afraid dat she will leave me...
canot rmb anything at all...
T________T
die lor tis time...
went and chant for 20 minutes...
chant till voiceless adi > <
haizzzzzzzzz....
how lar??
kept sending off9 msg to her...
made me couldnt sleep well for da whole nite...
wriggling on da bed....
i tot dat we din chat for so many days,
and i will be ok if u din cum on9 for so many days again...
but im wrong...
im still being dat worry...
afraid.....scare...paranoid....
never decrease...
and only i know dat u r still very important to me...
without u,
i am nth...
my life is meaningless...
and my heart is empty...
pls cum on9 and tell me wats going on...

Sunday, 8th March 2009

get reply from JJ...
of my msg last nite...
he told me dat if gm dun wan me anymore he wouldnt sms me...
aishhhhh...
dat day already settled...
today he tell me smth like tis will made me hav hopes on him...
suan le bah...
fan zhen i already know he lied me dat he use china phone...
lied me dat his mobile kena rampas by his mum...
dat JJ awhile say smth gud bout him...
awhile bad-mouthing him...
reli duno if i shud believe his words anot...
he might creating stories too...
but ...
duno lar...
anything...
use my wisdom to differentiate...
use my instinct to guess...
use my heart to feel...
better than believing an "unknown" person's words blindly~~

im still wondering...
wat da heck is wrong wit myself??
i never be like tis bcoz of those unworthy guys b4??
is he reli dat gud?? until i couldnt get him out of my mind??
y am i having 2??
not reli...
one is in my mind...
while another is in my heart...

hmmm...
went to 1U...
bought a lot of things...
not reli "things" lar...
is foods~~~
hahahahaha
and oso wasted lots of times...

at one of da musical instrument shop saw guitars...
went inside...
den my dad asked for so many things...
sounds like wanted to buy for me like dat...
quite cheap...
RM650 - RM750~~~ (3 choices)
comes wit set somemore (amplifier)
but i know he wouldnt buy one lar~~~
den wait to find a lover who owned an electric guitar bah...
so dat i can play as always...
acoustic guitar not ngam me -__-||

dat JJ today weird weird de -__-||
awhile tell me got ppl kao him...
den awhile act coldly wit me...
awhile call me bao bei...
ahahahaha -___-||
siao eh~~~
den at nite more geng...
sent me 4 msg...
i tink is song de lyric...
but duno wat song is dat...
lazy to reply -__-|||

haizzz....
din chat wit my darling for a long long long time adi....
one is bcoz of her studies exams and all...
another reason is bcoz of dat stupid fella...
stay there so long zomok??
-___-||
faster go bak larrr aishhhhhh....
felt dat i am so far away from my darling rite now....
is dat our soul r not connected anymore??
or u already ditch me away from part of ur heart??
i dun dare to tell u "i miss u"...
bcoz i din feel so...
im sorry...
but...im tinking of u...
is not missing...
juz...tinking...and tinking....
everyday..and oso most of da time...
saw dat fella on9 since yesterday...
but u never on9...
mayb u r appearing off9??
dun wanna chat wit me or wat??
observing her status and oso her pm,
giv me some clues...
mayb u r appearing off9??
dun wan to tink dat much...
later i couldn't sleep well at nite again...
and lastly...
i reli hope dat u wont disappoint me...

uh huh~~here is da video of my bro's performance

if u read my previous post den u will know...
finally...i get to upload da video T_____T (touched)
my bro performing locking and follow up by Britney Spears's Circus in UUM during Kachi Spring Festival....

Friday, 6th March 2009

memorize the 名句精华 until siao adi...XD
boh bian...
today is chinese march test exam...

today dat Choi duno wat happen...
juz say her wit something harsh only...
den at there act emo liao -__-||
not even scold lar...
shit~~~
when she scold me day and nite loudly non stop,
i oso haven be emo lar~~~
hey~~
dun tink only u r sensitive??
im sensitive too ok??
is juz dat i didnt tell or act it out,
dun mean i am not ok???
ok fine...
u tengah 28days...
dun wan to blame u...
later i go scold u ur face will bcome 关公 more -___-||

after skool,
chinese class...
she seems to be ok by herself adi...XD
-__-|| how i know???
bcoz when we(me, Pei Yee, Choi) going down wan to buy ice cream...
tis Choi kept pulling my ear -__-||
oiiiiii~~~~~`
painnnnn T____T
once i fight bak her words den she will pull my ear and say "耳朵不要了事吗???"
lol....
but gud oso -__-||
as long as is not emo-ing den im ok...

weeeee came bak saw my koko....
he is reli an observant guy...
so fast den knew dat i changed my spec > <
unlike others...
see for a long time still didnt know i changed -__-||
so sad~~ XD
watch his dancing videos until forget to take nap adi...

(videos of him still unavailable due to da technical prob of stupid youtube, i couldnt upload da videos...so many errors -__-||| )

nth special at nite...
bzy managing da files of my pc and my bro's laptop...
n oso watching Alien vs Predator...
den suddenly duno wat da hell is wrong wit me...
gone crazy or wat??
kept tinking of him...
until went and sms him...
finally, he admitted ....
but i still tink dat he is not telling da truth yet...
bzy for studies until no mood for other things??
izzit??
n oso got caught by me dat he is still using his SE mobile phone...
i tot he said his mum rampas and he is using china phone??
craps~~
hope he will tell me da truth on someday....

duno wat da heck i wrong wit myself...
y am i like tis??
hate myself so much...
so ambiguous ....

waited 4 my darling to cum on9...
but she didnt...
last nite she told me dat we will chat on today...
but she didnt cum.... -___-|||

Silence is Golden~~~

learned tis proverbs few days ago...
and oso tink it is quite true...
sometimes feel like kept quiet is better than speaking...
juz like yesterday...
during Ekonomi...
i sit wit SF,
discussing to go for tuition at E.T.
we discuss not dat loud though...
but u know...
dat teacher beh song me or wat -__-||
da whole class is talking...
louder than me...
and tis Eko teacher calls only me -__-||
and asked me wat im talking bout wit them....
i din say anything...
she kept asking...and i remain silent...
so SF helped me to answer "about tuition"
and here starts scolding...
"yeaaa i know u having tuition...very clever adi...dun nid to listen to me har??? if u dun wan to listen to me get out from da class pls...im gud enuff..i wont kick u out from da class...u go out by urself..."
-___-|| sarcastic enuff...
den SF said " 早知道什么都不讲 "

den today...
duno wat da heck is wrong wit her...
she again calling my name...
and wat??
call only me lar of coz...
ok fine -__-||
i bear....
den after dat...
we are split into few groups,
answering da question to get marks...
n we get 0 of coz...
y???
she never c us sitting there wat...
even we raise up our hand so highhhhhhh still didnt choose us...
tink dat we r not exist or wat??
da group has only chinese den she couldnt c -__-||
her new name, 老盲女....
den SF and Pei Yee start complaining and scolding...
after awhile Pei Yee helped me to tie hair...
again she asked da whole class to look at me...
and kept complaining there...
-___-||
never c b4 or wat??
canot tie hair izzit???!!!
crazy -__-||
maniac -___-||
den others tie their hair she didnt scold -__-||
aishhhhhhhhhh...
den i super beh song adi...
kept cursing and scolding her...
den make alot of jokes of hers....
until Choi and Jing beh song me -__-||
scolding da teacher and not them oso...
duno y they so 大反应...
den ask us to do latihan...
her hand writing...
omg...small like hell...
she planned to kill our eyes or wan us to be blind ?? -___-||
den i said " we oso write as small as possible...to make her become blind too XD"
and so excited there kept making fun -__-||
stupid bengkel...
looking at dat 老盲女 + lou kim po for 4 periods....
eye oso pain lar -__-|||
rather to study any other subject than tis stupid Eko....
suddenly feel dat Pn Azah reli very gud -__-||
at least she still can c dat we r exist...
and at least she scolds da whole group and not only me wahahahaha
chiiiiii den dat Jing and Choi kept saying me tis and dat...
they wouldnt know lar of coz...
da one got scold not them wat??
is me??
they wont have any feeling though~~
da reason y i so 激动 ....
well...
is bcoz not only one person who scolding only me...
but a few person scolding only me...
SF Choi Jing...
luckily Pei Yee didnt -__-||
if not i wont ever cum to skool...
n tink dat stick wit Hui Xin is a lot better....
scolding me without any reason...
even wit reason...but still scolds only me...
wat??gang up and attacking da same target??
for sure u all felt fun...
for sure i felt so suffer -__-||
and juz can keep quiet when i got scold...
as i say...
silence is golden...
bcoz once i try to fight bak...
for sure they will continue scolding...
n i will got more scolding from them...
so...if i keep quiet...
nth they can do...
after they finish their points, they will stop scoldings...
so...
conclusion is...

speak = get more scoldings
silent = get less scoldings...

whic will u choose??
of coz to be silent rite??
learned a lesson yet today?? XD
i learned -__-||

Wednesday, 4th March 2009

today Choi didnt cum...
bcoz both me and SF din call her -__-||
so she oso tak payah to wake up liao de -____-|||
den sit at her place to acc SF...
saw da biscuit in her desk...
is opened and didnt finish...
and i was like .... wat the hell???!!
y is she always like dat huh??
always complain to me dat she dun hav anything gud to eat...
everyday eating maggie mee only...
and all~~~~
and wat now???
wasting foods...
she never treasure it when she have...
im so so so angry wit her attitude...
not only foods she is like dat...
money too...
when she doesnt has money, she will complain and all...
tried so hard to save da money, even dun wan to eat...
when she get money??
uses it as she likes until pokai and den start complaining dat she pokai again -__-||
ok...i know i du hav da right to care wat other ppl do...
since im not anyone of hers....
juz her best fren...

last nite when my mum asked my dad to throw da spaghetti,
bcoz not fresh adi...
she afraid dat after i eat i will vomit or anything...
i was like T_____T
sam tong~~~
and kept looking at da dustbin...
is reli waste larrr~~~
den kept tinking of da spaghetti...
is my fault to go to KFC on yesterday and not having my lunch at home...
haizzz.... -___-|||

today at Lab during science,
Jing asked me whether im still going out on 14th to meet him...
and i tell him dat i was very happy to know dat he is going to TS on dat day and couldnt meet me...
den she said " u reli very stupid"
question marksss appear above my head ?????????????????????

me "wat???"
Jing : "u shud know~~"
me : "i reli duno lor~~"
Jing : "i said u reli very stupid...giv up da whole forest juz bcoz of a tree"
me : "har??did i?? -__-||"
Jing : " yea... u r ... giv up on others juz bcoz of Zong...worth for it??"
me : "i dun like him is not bcoz of Zong at all...i will still find a lover even i still love Zong"
Jing : "u dun say fei hua lar u...juz bcoz u already like Zong, n u wont like others"
me : "but recently i kept tinking of da "ex" ???? "
Jing : "anything..."


and i start tinking...
is dat reli bcoz of Zong??
it sounds like dat??
but am i reli like dat??
i tink so...
im reli stupid...
but...
do u call a person who loving others deeply as stupid???
hmmm...
mayb silly...
or stupid too...
hahahaha -__-||
well...
if i could leave,
i already did for ages...
da prob is...
i couldnt move on...
is reli hard...
is not as easy as u tink...
i ever tink of wanna forget bout Zong...
long long time ago~~~
but at last, i still couldnt make it...
for me...is like...i cant live without Zong...
mayb only Judy know bout my condition...
she is more worse than me...
she waited for almost 6 years...
hahahaha...

den when walking out from da Lab...
Jing : " i felt dat u r reli unfortunate on these days"
me : "who u talking bout ???me ???or SF??"
Jing : "u lar~~"
me : "y do u say so???"
Jing : "bcoz u kept being scold by us..."
me : "uh huh~~~ u know bout dat too~~~ "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i oso wondering wat da hell is wrong wit me?? or 3 of u...
i oso knew dat i always got scold by 3 of u...
even i din say anything or do anything wrongly -____-|||
felt like im so 状况外....
couldnt get wat they r talking....
aparting from them???
uhm~~~
well...
when they r nice...they will be nice -__-||
when im unlucky...den is reli super unlucky...
da first person who scolding me must be Choi,
she is da one who always started it -__-||
den SF will continue her part...
and den after awhile will be Jing's turn to scold me...
so....
y 3 of u must be scolding da same person?? -___-||
alto i didnt tell anything out...
but in my mind,
i care bout tis matter...
da thing which i mind da most is -__-||
when they talk, they will never got scold...
when i talk, i must got scold from them -__-||
when they sing, is ok for them...
when i sing, everything is not ok -__-||

today JJ din sms me...
wakakakaka~~~ XD
den faster forget bout me bah..
u r reli...i duno how shud i say...
i dun tink is my fault for tis...
dat day already hav a lil feeling towards u...
u r da one who made me felt nth for u,
or even negative -___-||
u better go find others bah...
im not worth for it XD
me tis kind of ppl oso very 犯贱一下的~~~
i prefer to sacrifice ....

so funny juz now...
my mum washing her face,
and stand in front of the tv...
den suddenly my dad said "老婆最近很喜欢吃玻璃"
den i laugh and said "他抢我的饭碗"
den my dad ??????
den i said "我也是吃玻璃大的"
well...so common lar -__-||
both my mum and dad hor...
like to stand in front of da tv one...
den always got scold by each other hahahaha
cute of them...

haizzz so long didnt chat wit my darling liao...
after dat nite...
she seems to be so bzy...
get her off9 msg teling me dat she went out for da whole day...
and when she get bak is already 1am... -___-||
suan liao lar...
made me so worry on these few days...
who knows...
is not bout her finger,
but bout she going out wit dat fella -__-||

Monday, 2nd March 2009

last nite 2am only slept T____T
aiksss so many things to tink bout..
kept tinkin tinkin and tinking until forget to sleep adi -___-||
so tired...
den go skool carrying 2 big Hero plastic bag...
wakakakakaka...
heavy like hell...
boh bian...ERT mar..nid to prepare da bahan for masak...

den JJ de things...
at class at there gaduh gaduh gaduh... > <
not reli gaduh lar..
juz discuss...
ben lai only Jing know de...
den after tell SF , SF know lor...
now Pei Yee oso know liao -__-||
"fish" lor~~~~~
tell them bout yesterday de thing....
den SF...
aiyooo no nid to ask her already know her reaction must be like tis "男生都是犯贱的！！"
only Jing kept standing on his side lar~~~
boh bian...our Jing~~ 发男生狂 hahahaha...
den Pei Yee oso said, tis kind of guy better dun wan...
wakakakaka...

den ERT cook lor...
i group wit Fatiqah..
well...
her "Ayam Masak Merah" very successful...
but hor...
**shy shy**
i cook de rice hor....
burnt liao...XD
aiyooooooo disgracing > <
so many groups only da rice dat i cook hangus lor -____-|||
sure gek sei teacher hahahaha...
aiyooo boh bian lor...
i duno how to cook de marrr~~~** pure look **
cook until 2pm+++ only finish...
so tired...
2.30pm only go bak home...
stand for 3 hours, din sit at all....
tired like hell...
ermmmm pai seh lar...
my "BBQ" rice no photo hor...> <
so "fish" de thing dun post mar... > <
and for dat chicken hor...
inside my stomach adi...XD
so no photo oso XD

Sunday, 1st March 2009

last night...
wat last nite -__-||
it juz happened...
12am++++
we r ok...
but im not ok after sending him my photo...
after he c da real me...
alto he didnt say anything...
but his reply...
sounds harsh..(for me -__-||)
from reading his words,
i knew he mind dat im fat...LOL
i shud know...
his words made me couldnt sleep well...
suddenly flu...
dun care...sleep bah~~~
now only i realize dat...
in tis world...
there r only 2 guys who dun mind dat im fat...
1st. my dad and second is my bro...
i tot my bro will mind...
but alil shock to c his reply dat he dun mind...
wat he care is my health...
wow...when my koko bcum so nice??hahahhaa
and there r only 2 gals who dun mind too...
and luv me so much...
no matter how am i like...
which is my mum and my darling...



~~Morning~~
wake at 9am++++
T______T didnt sleep well for da whole weekend...
went to Kaikan...
yeeeee stupiak keep kacau me while i enjoy watching performances and listening to experiences...
aishhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
den after awhile start to argue wit him...
idiot...said wat?dun wanna argue wit me...
is obviously HIS prob...
i dun tink is my fault??
n i was juz trying to test him...
and i succeed ~~~
weeeeeeee~~~~
i tink he must be very mind and couldnt accept if i plan to not diet...
well...
tis kind of guy...
wan for wat??
not gud looking, not tall, not smart enuff, not intelligent, result not gud...
now somemore mind bout how i look??
reli so LOL...
den he kept telling me dat he study hard for me, go and play basketball, wanted to become taller and all...
and well...
i never ask him to do dat and never expect him to change anything juz for me...
juz he himself wanted to do so...
and now he telling me dat he do it for me...
reli so funny...
i reli wondering y shud i accept him??
is reli not my ideal one...
oh sorry...and lucky too...dat i haven accept yet..
somemore dare to argue wit me...
i rather to not couple than being together wit someone who mind how i looks...
tired to argue wit him...
bcoz of him i nid to type in chinese which torture me alot...
and causes my inbox msgs all gone...
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....


after having lunch...
went to da Plantronics tinking of wanna install chinese simplified...
who knows...
wanna die...
dat guy din tell me dat he is going to format da whole phone...
T______T wanna bang wall...
all my msgs...
my beloved msgs gone...
arghhhhhhhhh...
haizzzz suan le bah...
take tis as my advice den...
n i will always rmb it~~
"ALWAYS BACKUP EVERYTHING WHICH YOU THINK THAT IT IS IMPORTANT BEFORE HANDING YOU DIGITAL INSTRUMENTS TO OTHERS"
luckily dat da msg dat i treasure da most is save in my sim card....
if not i will jump off from da building -___-|||
and oso luckily dat i saved all my contacts in my sim card and oso memory card...XD

after wake from nap...
aishhhhh he again become normal...
finally he knew dat is his fault har???
duno wat he said is true or not...
and everything is alright adi...
guys words are always untrustworthy...
girls shud beware of their sweet words~~


at nite my darling came on9...
tell me dat she is free...
but her finger hurts...
so couldnt type...
and i...aishhhh
duno wat da hell is wrong wit me lar....
darling wan to c me but i dun wan to show...
**slap myself**
haizzz....
den let jean scolded -___-|||
lol her words reli...
so hurt lar...
said dat no ppl wan c me...now got ppl wan c still dun wanna show...wanted to play hard and sell myself at high price...
lol...
i juz dun wan to show bcoz she is there...
reli lol...
morning juz argue bcoz of da appearance of mine...
and now somemore???
after saying dat when i asked her dun wan to admit...
said wat??dun nid to explain dat wat does she mean by dat...
but i tink dat she nid to be responsible wit her words??
but dun care lar...
as long as it is not coming out from my darling den is ok...
-___-||
is my fault to not show my darling...
im sorry...
kor tod na~~